This is an interesting cross between poetry and prose. The rhythm and flow is at times a little "odd" and unexpected, but I think this is a positive. I found myself wanting a few specifics - don't overdo them, and don't make them too graphic, but just an object you associate with him, or even mentioning the colour of his (and your eyes). It's a difficult and emotive topic, and you deserve praise for carrying it off well, conveying strong emotions but still managing to keep a level of depth an...

This is very moving, short and sparse and let it conveys so much. This seems almost like poetry; technically the syntax of the first two sentences, the combination of the clauses, is wrong, but you get the meaning across so if it doesn't bother you it probably won't bother the reader. I particularly like the line beginning "I'm running out of hostages..." (though "scott" should begin with a capital letter" - the juxtaposition of a word suggesting violence and yet an underlying tone conveying ...

An interesting twist on the old maxim "wisest is he who knows he does not know". You have conveyed a paradox clearly and succinctly, and hit the nail on the head with reference to the limits of perception so many people have when referring to themselves.

I appreciate the real-life material and the genuine emotions behind this, but I'm afraid it just didn't work for me. I found the rhyme trite, the rhythm worked in places but was awkward in others, and the inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation was offputting. Perhaps try focusing less on rhyme and more on what you want to say and how the words flow.

I think this is something which would work very well as performance poetry (perhaps with percussion) but I found it a little hard to appreciate reading from the page - I had to read it out loud to really get anything from it. You have a definite ear for rhythm. This is not a complex poem, but it does reflect a common experience and for that reason would probably resonate with a lot of people.

This is clearly very deeply felt and though I didn't entirely understand the content I felt the emotions very clearly. I am curious as why you decided to express this as poetry as you seem to be instinctively leaning towards prose. Perhaps try rewriting it, remembering that prose can still be poetic, symbolic and doesn't need a defined plot or story. There are a couple of small grammar issues - some missing spaces after punctuation and 'I' is not always capitalised.

I haven't read your last blog, but this is succinct and clearly expressed (there are a few spelling and grammar issues, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about those!) Have you thought that a different forum, not aimed at critiquing or reviewing might be more appropriate?

This is a clear, and universal piece which is nevertheless deeper than it looks at first. This is definitely performance poetry, perhaps even bordering on a song lyric (or perhaps something to read to a percussion backing) with a clear but not particularly repetitive rhythm. I really liked the recurring imagery of the tree used in so many different ways, and though such an image is often used the way it was phrased meant it is not a cliche. However the second to last stanza didn't sit so well...

The fact you have chosen a criteria relating to publication means I will view it in that light. There's nothing wrong with simply writing for your own benefit or for catharsis, but as something for others to read I'm afraid this doesn't really work for me. Why the capitals? I suggest you use them sparingly for emphasis, and focus on your words to get your emotions across. Also, try not to rhyme for the sake of it. "Indeed"/"Need" works well, but "Me"/"Unconditionally" just feels forced, proba...

I really liked this poem - it was original, insightful and flowed well. There are two suggestions which come to mind - firstly to break it into stanzas, not necessarily of equal length, to make it easier to follow and to focus on, and to bring attention to it's natural pauses and points of emphasis. Secondly, I came across several words which just jarred with me and I felt could be changed or cut without affecting the meaning, but definitely improving the rhythm and flow. For example: "Your a...