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ames_plaza's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Fredericksburg, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 17
LOC: Fredericksburg, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 17
When i was born, i was named amy. My pen name is ames plaza. These are things that i enjoy:
love. coffee. green tea. cigarettes. sex. drinking. writing. reading. make-up. photography. kissing. shoes. psychology. learning. bones. lotion. playgrounds. road trips. writing workshops. love. laughing. rainbows. ridiculousness. insane people. meeting new people who might be insane. college. downtown. music. driving. living. LOVE.
<3 ames plaza.
if you can’t handle criticism, buy a diary, lock it up, and shut the fuck up.
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Version 1
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Sitting on the floor in my room smoking a cigarette, I watched Caroline stir underneath my bed sheets. Jessie was sleeping soundly in the recliner in my living room and the couch was still covered in vomit. I had passed out for a while on the floor but I had begun to hear her whimper a little and woke myself up. I didn’t need my bed covered in puke too. Caroline woke up groaning, gagging, and groggy from all of her late night escapades. “How did I get here?” she asked, daze...
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5 Reviews
2 Comments
I'm a writer, what's your excuse?
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Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
Eat words not food- anorexic writer.
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Version 1
7 Reviews
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I WILL quit my day job.
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Version 1
4 Reviews
1 Comment
Between heaving and gasping for air, Caroline tried desperately to be sweet and nostalgic. “Remember that song you wrote for me?” She had to stop halfway through this sentence to spill more of her stomach’s contents onto my deck. I didn’t answer her question, smoking another cigarette, coolly. “You don’t remember, Harry?” Jessie took another cigarette from my practically empty pack but I was too disgusted at the corpse-like whore in front of me to care. “It was called time something… time… I ...
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this poem is telly. very telly. you need to show what you're trying to say, not tell. show why peopleshould accept christ. decribe a person. describe a person disobeying christ. show the bowels of hell. show the cavernous wasteland. i want to see this forsaking. show it. once you begin to show this, you'll begin to evoke emotions from your reader. stray away from telliness. use imagery. there is no poetry without imagery.
i really liked the first two stanzas, but after those two, the poem sort of drifted off and i wasn't really sure where it was going. you can write an effective poem about being too distracted by your mind to sleep but right now, it's not really working. the part with the spider seemed rather thrown in. i believe it could work in another poem, just not this one, i would just be very careful with the image of a spider becuase it's an image that is commonly used and can easily slip into cliche. ...
you need to add more imagery to inhance the meaning of this poem. right now, it seems really telly. show the reader, don't tell. show the people trapped in society. how is the individual magnificent? right now, there's not enough material to portray an emotion, which is the objective correlative. add on. add images. it's fine to add too much, you can always go back and take out what you don't need. i loved the last line though, it was incredible.
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