amberinwonderland's profile

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AGE: 19
LOC: Campbell, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 21

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Poetry / Orchard City
Version 1
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Oh little orchard city With your community of trees I appreciate your charm But your streets aren’t meant for me I think the Cleaver’s are moving in To the artist’s abandoned place In this town of nobody’s nothing For me there is just no space I deserve more than this providence Despite your picturesque sight The brochures serve you justice by day But how I wish they could see you at night! I know how your pavement yearns in the dark As the wind whispers tales of the earth Tree branches moan ...
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Version 1
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a masculine cry heaving asphyxiation weighted foreign sobs
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Poetry / dilate
Version 1
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i see a bottomless well darker than ebony the smell of chaos overwhelming my nostrils like wet blood on a sticky, hot afternoon i dip my curiousity in to taste the water but my tongue slips down into my throat clinging to my shrinking tonsils my parched lips graze somthing like mercury or alkaline with an electric aftershock i bend farther over the rim to get a better perspective something like battery acid splashes & bubbles i feel myself spilling over the edge into the steaming cauldron of ...
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Another vacant stare produces Short stubby lines of creeping light Like maggots filling their bellies With the vesicant surface of rotting flesh A spoiled soufflé sinking into itself Falling through the nasal cavity Tugged at by an invisible fishhook A disease more destructive than cancer For which there is no cure Only the comfort of candy coated catalysts Spinning techno for the incandescent electrons Until the undulating membranes are nothing But the decayed smudge of modern art in the toi...
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Red is not Glorias color. Enrique, be careful. Volitions amongst the educated youth [[do you hear the people sing?]] Only the lies spread ink across the pages Let the world know hes not dead Time will tell of your impoverished fate, Cuba.
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Lyrics / Nightfall
Locked
What a beautiful tribute to one of my absolute FAVORITE movies! I didn't even have to blink twice after I read the first line, though I think you may want to put that line in parenthesis, since technically, it's not yours. That way, at least your paying a tiny homage to the phrase. There are some interesting emotions here that I think you've taken some liberties with, that changes slightly the mood of the character. Not sure all of it is emotionally appropriate but it's poetic none the less a...
Short Story / a day like today ...
Locked
Even though I've guiltily used them myself, cliches are not usually the way to go. I think you could probably come up with a better metaphor to describe this man than diamond in the rough. Ultimately, I did enjoy this piece. I'm a fan of rhyme, especially when it's done well, but the rhythm is off. Try reading it aloud a few times and see where that gets you. That's something you should do with all poetry, just to get a feel for the natural cadence of it. But then again, if you feel you're tr...
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