alecthegreat's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Alexandria, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 17
LOC: Alexandria, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 17
I’m an author living in the Washington DC area--though I’ll be moving to Africa in July (Peace Corps). I’ve written a couple of novels, several short stories and too many poems to count. I have my Master’s degree in English--an emphasis on Creative Writing and American Literature. Whenever possible, I try to travel overseas--which has given me inspiration for several of my stories (I’ve traveled through much of Western Europe, and I’ve briefly lived in Costa Rica). I’m currently working on revisions to novel while preparing to join the Peace Corps--which I hope will further enrich my writing.
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Dear Jud Laghi: The Sun's Surrender is the story of Jake Barton, an affluent young man who finds his life suddenly turned upside down after his father dies on September 11. Not knowing how to understand nor cope with the tragedy, Jake quickly spirals and reaches for alcohol, drugs, and anything else that can take his mind away. It's not until a year and a half later when his longtime girlfriend decides she has had enough that he really starts to think about his life or what he should do. Fina...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
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Dear Jud Laghi: The Sun's Surrender is the story of Jake Barton, an affluent young man who finds his life suddenly turned upside down after his father dies on September 11. Not knowing how to understand nor cope with the tragedy, Jake quickly spirals and reaches for alcohol, drugs, and anything else that can take his mind away. It's not until a year and a half later when his longtime girlfriend decides she's had enough that he really starts to think about his life or what he should do. Finall...
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Version 1
10 Reviews
12 Comments
Screams race through the air after her as Elizabeth Marie Baker runs as hard as she can through the night streets. She hasn't looked behind her in at least half a mile and has no intentions of doing so now. She's knows they're there. She knows they're closer than she'd like. She doesn't need to see it with her own eyes. So, she runs as she has each and every time she's had to scout. This time was different. The monsters were more p...
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Version 2
9 Reviews
2 Comments
She stands there (in front of me). Her arms crossed. Her black hair almost fades into the night sky. "I'm sorry," she says and I stare into her dark amber eyes. "We just don't have the same faith." She's Irish and of Rom decent. Which makes her family Irish-Catholic Gypsies. Yeah. They're all like this. At least, that's my assumption. You either follow their way of life or you're gone. There is no compromise. I stand there and I think about what she's just said. What it means. She's there in ...
Version 1
12 Reviews
7 Comments
one. I step off the plane and watch as water trinkles across the glass windows blocking me from exiting the immigration line. This was the first plane I've been on since my father's death. I swore I'd never fly after 9/11, but here I am: Paris, 2003. Mike and Robert won't be able to join me for another month. That's four weeks where I can come to acclimate-assimilate-to their different culture. Four weeks. Four weeks to escape. "Business or pleasure?" The woman's question spins my head. "Wha...
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"It was just like a bank, except it didn’t keep money." - rephrase this. It's somewhat redundant and awkward as it is (and we're given the type of currency in the next paragraph). Perhaps combine with the previous sentence and simply say "... it was where valuables were stored, similar to a bank." "It was your parent’s idea." - parents' "A blade that was as clear as water" - good description! "...and looked made of crystal came out." - awkward. Perhaps "...and looked as if it were made of...
"sleaze-eyed" - great description "...restaurant on Henrick Street on Thursday" - Godfrey says Thursday here, but every other reference is for that night. Nice use of forshadowing having Janine refer to her friend, Malcolm, so many times by his name (it also makes me wonder if Malcolm actually died over the phone from her constantly using his name). I'd really like more information on why he's losing brain power every time his name was used. I get the impression that it's strictly her use of ...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This is quite beautifully written. Very poetic in language! Things I noticed while reading: ...strum from the neck of the mind, and flow from the container of the heart. - Well written description! It's far from ordinary or cliché and immediately stands out! ...labeled goals, dreams, had been obstructed... - slightly awkward (because it looks at first like a series. Change the comma between "goals, dreams" to "and" then drop the comma after dreams. I think that would clear up this line. ..be...
This is an interesting section, but I wish I had a little more back story leading into this. Since Aaron comes off as confrontational when discussing his adjustment, I don't feel he would then so easily agree to to discuss in the library (perhaps show him be a little more resistant at first before finally agreeing). In general, I get the impression that Aaron won't be opening up to anyone just yet. I see him hearing Futura out, but not much else beyond that at this point. Perhaps after this m...
The writing is quite solid and consistent in this piece. The continuity also seems okay. I would, however, like to see more of an emotional response. The fact that Vince dies on his first international trip (while not unheard of), felt a bit much in this. Perhaps if he regularly made these trips (but this was simply the longest that he was going to be gone). I'd also like to see more of Diane's immediate response to hearing about Vince's death--you skip that part, and I think it would be a po...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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