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aisispoet's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Port Charlotte, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 25
LOC: Port Charlotte, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 25
I have been writing poetry for about 14 years. I started with very juvenile work about girls I was in love with and other adolescent worries and such. I have progressed to a much more refined style of writing in recent years as I spend a lot more time editing my work rather than just pouring words out and considering them complete. I have one complete book of poems. It is a mixture of styles I have gone through over the 5 years prior to 2004 when I began editing the book as a complete piece. Though I consider some of the work not as refined as I would like I decided not to change it again, printed some copies of it and left it as is. I may attempt publishing it or may just keep it as a great memory of teaching myself more about compiling…
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Version 1
6 Reviews
2 Comments
My life was brusque when I lay into the billows of your soul. I can so faintly feel your movements, A yielding, caressing touch; Just the beauty of yours, the whole of mine within you. Again, I am here so lonely yet not sad, to relive an others pain as his young wife passes. Their child is thrust into the world we know. He does not try, for without her love; How can he possibly survive? I can only say that without your love I may not. I can love another, just as a pianist can make you weep wi...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
10 Reviews
2 Comments
I’ve traded her soft, dirty blond hair for a dented old pretext of a midnight chair. I watch as dark soldiers canter about, looking for women they left months ago. Sitting silently I then listen to a casual conversation between two comrades, illuminated only by the light of a cracked door; The moon’s finger’s creeping gently down onto the desert’s soft and sloping curves. “Who wants to open a door and see loneliness? That poor soul that you thought you knew so well, frozen, in a moment of wea...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
There lies meat for my dogs. I expect there’d be a fight to the last standing man. Yet one might have better known my game or may have hunted it before just the same. I was diminutive to tell of this maiden sale of morals over conquest and of life over love and support. To this day when a new vessel crosses the threshold of her harbor, the master of the watch turns to flap his coattails in haste. There it lay in the torrent waters base: another watchman’s grave. Could his mêlée have shielded ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
4 Comments
Beautiful , bright green leaves is all I need. They don’t even have to be grown from seeds. No roots, to in my soil shown, No Tara-Cotta of mine shall it own. Still giving life in short, simple bursts, Just plucking leaves without breaking dirt. I have before grown a plant up from seed, But it lied to me saying. ”I will help you breathe.” Then winter came and the leaves they did fall. I was left with a tall, brown stalk and I couldn’t breathe at all. The roots were so deep and strong, I pulle...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
2 Comments
I bear a key and cross around my collar, watch and band around my wrist, I sit and muse the weather And what I may have missed. I suffer the cold wind in the mornings, Biting, screaming in my ears, I feel the sun rise and then the sweat run round and down my chest as tears. I wish I knew love again here, having left it far behind. I think I might have tried much harder had my soul not died in Baltimore. I left it there in Baltimore, just less than three years ago. I left something in Florida ...
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Reviews
Great use of metaphors here. I like the poem overall. The hint of dark humor made it enjoyable and amuesing. Some of your lines are cryptic but not too far off. The situational change you make in the last paragraph was a little rough in transition though you may want to rethink it.
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I'm not much of a fan of this type of writing so I will keep it short so as not to waste your points. The story was well written and I don't see and gramatical errors anywhere. Other than that it was a little bland, though again I think it is more my dislike of this type of work rather than your actual story that makes me see it that way. Good description and storyline made it bearable.
I enjoyed this piece. It seemed very personal almost non-fiction. It made me all teary eyed near the end. It drug on a bit here and there, but you reigned it in to pull off a good ending. No criticism to give really I enjoyed it as I said. I didn't edit it closely for grammar but it read smoothly and fairly easily and I didn't see any mistakes with one read.
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