aharddayswrite's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Burbank, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 09
LOC: Burbank, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 09
I suppose I’m just like everyone else on here: a budding writer looking for some encouragement, critique, or maybe even just a push in the right direction. I probably don’t have to tell you (based on my age) that I’m just starting out, but I’ve been writing little stories since I was young (again, probably like everyone else on here!).
I am especially, as I hope you can tell by my user name, fond of The Beatles, but I enjoy a variety of music. I think I would describe myself as an anglophile; mention anything British and I am immidiately whipped up into a frenzy of excitement. (I am an American, by the way).
My favorite author is Jack London, though I very much enjoy many, MANY other different works, authors, poets, boo…
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Version 1
21 Reviews
2 Comments
He had a curious and clever obsession with cleaning quarters, though few knew why. It should be mentioned now that he was not miserly nor avaricious. He wasn’t primarily concerned with his own financial means but rather comfortable with his simple and, as some might say, austere living. He had a small, elegant three room house in which he kept as few material possessions as possible-- with the significant exception of quarters, as he was rather infatuated with them. He piled these in neat, c...
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Won't say how I felt, I suppose, because I don't believe you want that. I did like it, though. That's all I'll say. Some corrections, things I noticed: -"the wide eyed, slack jawed, look of 'what the fuck?' stamped across his face." As for audience (or readership, as you said) I'm not sure who this story is aimed at in particular, and I'm not sure if you are, either. If you're looking for a wide audience, the swear will veer off a great deal of people from your writing; I might use a differen...
A very interesting story, with bits of irony which I liked, especially at the end. I enjoyed the narrator and the complex brain he had which seemed so at odds with his intoxicated body; however, there was one question that I could not get out of my mind as I read the beginning over and over. The man had a PhD. Why on earth was he studying how to become drunk without alcohol? (Or perhaps with; I couldn't quite tell). All he explains is the actual means of his research, but he seems to have no...
I'll give you my impression of this story once I've asked you something: Have you, or do you, read Cormac McCarthy novels? I do not mean this as an insult; from me it means the highest of praise. Your writing flows quite similar to his; it illuminates the story in short, choppy descriptions then moves on to intertwine deeper meanings: "His fingers long to touch what isn’t slick with his life’s essence." You're going for complicated, sophisticated- and I praise you efforts. But here's my crit...
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