acsmith's profile

Overall a good story. I'm interested to read more. You let me see the characters' personalities well through the dialog and thoughts. My critiques are mostly centered around grammar and punctuation. I made some notes early in the story, but the list is not definitive. There are more, similar errors later in the story also. "Seagulls wailed, as the tide rose." No comma necessary. "...shooter, contemplating..." try this "...shooter and contemplated..." "...sunglasses, checking..." try this "......

Some criticisms to follow but we'll begin with the good. I like your characters. You give them some good personality and you also provide some good background details. You have a good voice for being descriptive "long hot humid days and cold dark scary nights." Your story has me interested and I would like to read more. Try to be more conscious of your grammar and punctuation. You have a habit of messing up possessives and misusing commas and semi-colons. I’m including some specific suggestio...