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acrylic12's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 30
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 30
Hey, everybody!
My name is Samantha, and I am entering the ninth grade. I love to write, read, play softball and basketball, and I absolutely love to write morbid, angst-ridden pieces.
I could not be classified in any stereotype, though I have been considered many different ones through my short life. I love the book Eragon, (no matter how unoriginal the plot is! XD) and I also love music of really any kind. I listen to all different genres unless it has to do with rap. But other than that, music if spiffy. XD
I would love for you to read what I have written if and when I post it. Thanks!
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
I stare blankly down at my feet. Anything is better than gazing at the world through the leather loop before my eyes. The black of my boots seem to melt in to the brown of the wooden frame I stand upon like candle wax. I shift my feet and strain my ears, listening for the quiet creak of the splintery, rough terrain below me. The planks crawl with insects so tiny only a mortal acutely observing would notice; the large, metal gray lever protruding from the wooden arch to my left will seal my fa...
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The description was very poetic and beautiful, and I recevied a wonderful image in my mind. However, with each individual paragraph I received a different image completely. It didn't really blend together, if you know what I mean. It seems a little choppy. I hope that makes sense...
I liked it a great deal, but it was missing something if you know what I mean. I enjoyed it, but I think you should just edit the last line some... I think it would greatly improve overall. But I really liked it! It was sad...
I would watch the grammer, and maybe use a thersaurus (sp?) but other than that, I really liked it!
I really like this. I loved all the description, and there really isn't much that I would change! Soory if this doesn't help :(
I enjoyed this. The constant periods were slightly annoying, as well as the fragments. But other than that, it was really good! Clean it up a bit, and it will be great!
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