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abeautifulmind2's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: Saint Clair, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Saint Clair, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
I am an artist (pottery, sculpting, watercolor, oil, and acrylic painting) and aspiring poet. I would love any feedback and constructive criticism on my work as family and friends aren’t always honest! I have been writing since the age of 13 but just recently started again after a 4 year break. I previously concentrated on song lyrics but have now switched to poems.
My website is http://www.abeautifulmind2.com
My yahoo profile is at http://360.yahoo.com/a_beautifulmind_2
and my myspace is at http://www.myspace.com/abeautifulmind2
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His crooked smile said it best but the words he spoke said it all, "I just glanced in the mirror... Things aren't going so good... I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota." Then he lit up a cigarette taking a drag like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't help but admire the way he held it between his lips. The look in his eyes told me more than the words coming from his mouth. Even the smoke that rose to form a halo around his head of this unsuspecting saint seemed to be sacred. It was the...
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Mother, my mother Who never bounced me on her knee Instead who pushed me to the floor Where I lay fallen like a dirty word you spit from your mouth and the shame that follows when in anger you lash out. Mother, my mother She who never loved me Who gave me life so unwillingly Out of selfishness I was born So she could crow, “see what I can do”. Pushed me from her womb early As if she couldn’t bear to have me there any longer. Mother, my mother Whose heart I heard beating from within Drums of a...
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I need to find the “lost and found”. Can you point me in the right direction? Through years of diapers and PTA; Laundry, football games, and play-dates I seem to have lost bits and pieces of me along the way. Has anyone seen my sanity? It is nowhere to be found. I swear I left it here yesterday right next to the grocery list. I’ve given up on ever finding my waistline again. I think it’s lost for good. My mind has wandered off again. It’s hard to keep track of it some days. It usually returns...
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I am afraid It is who I am I have let it own me for so long My fear has become me. Gnawing on my heart, my very soul Devouring me from the inside out So that now I am an empty shell Afraid to live Afraid to love Afraid to feel Oh so afraid to be For fear of fear Itself Yet I have become It It has claimed me made me the very thing I fear…afraid
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He leans in to kiss her, she turns and it lands in that space Between cheek and lips. She smiles to hide the screaming inside. Read her mind and you will hear how she hates this. They dance around each other like clumsy idiots or new dance students stepping on each others toes. They both feel it but dare not say it. To speak it out loud would make it real, give it life. Like water on a parched plant, it would begin to bloom and grow into a reality. He leans in to hold her, she turns, but insi...
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I have mixed feelings about this one. Despite being disgusted by the male dominance in it and feeling the woman's fear (which obviously was the purpose) I did admire the writing itself. It did what it was supposed to do, evoke feelings. I especially like the line, "I had mastery and it tasted like acid in the back of my throat". I also liked how you gave credence to your own understanding that your actions were despicable, "like dung upon gold, like me on top of her". Nice job.
This I can relate to! I have the same problem, being bipolar II doesn't help either. I love reading poetry I can relate to and this is one of them. The first line is a GREAT visual image, love it. I also think the way you wrap it up with the last lines, how they connect it all together, great imagery. Keep up the good work.
I must say I am impressed by the quality of this writing considering your young age. I think I would change "suns over horizons", it doesn't flow as nicely as it could. The next line would sound smoother if it were "my feelings of despondency have left me". Other than that, I really like this. It feels like a rebirth of spirit. Good luck!
This poem really affected me. It exactly described how I feel when I am weary of my life, when I feel overwhelmed. Especially the last stanza, "in the heat of noon. the air is still. the well is dry." Nothing more to give...great work!
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