aarondodd's profile

I really enjoyed this. It read very much like free-verse, if that was your intention. It had a really natural flow to it. In places I could almost hear someone speaking it with great inflection ("I'm immune . . . to the tatto parlors, the clubs...") I very much liked the imagery of this piece. The descriptions of the waitress, the jazz player, "neon night" . . . I found: "Even / the winos appear trendy, veterans / of Betty Ford and La Hacienda." to be clever. I took this piece to be sort of a...

Hello, I want to start off by saying honestly that rhymed verse is a general turn-off for me. In general, I find people will alter their word choices from a more natural use of language and instead force word arrangements around a rhyme, or use superfluous language to fit with verse. That said, to critique the verse of this poem, I have to ask what sort of rhyme scheme do you intend to have? It starts off as A,B,A,B,C,D,C,D... but then goes into off rhymes: 1 - (kid) A 2 - (god) B 3 - (did) A...

I rather enjoyed this piece. I found the two views of this woman to be quite entertaining. That said, plot wise I would suggest a couple of things: 1) I would explain the "Reach Out" a little more. From this piece it sounds like just a group of do-gooders imposing themselves in someone's life. To treat someone with dementia of any sort requires quite a bit of training to do at all well. To treat someone with dissociative identity disorder would be a bit more complicated than somoeone just dec...

Hello. I found this piece to be interesting, but I felt that its strengths were more in the beginning. The descriptions of Nathan waking up were very vivid. His reactions were exactly how I would react to be awakened in the afteroon while trying to nap. The waiting for people's voices to receed as they past exactly describes what its like to be interrupted by someone being loud outside the window. the piece seemed to lose these vivid descriptions as it went on. George, I felt, was a good cont...

Hello. I wanted to start off by saying I liked this piece. The premise is very intriguing, that of a boy who's dream life is as real as his waking life. I was very much drawn in by the idea that this was some sort of family trait, as if the family was descended of some sort of magical line and that they've lost this power somehow, that its now just an echo, something they experience uncontrolled when the sleep. That said, what I've summarized above are things I've gathered only after having t...