Not bad. slightly twisted, a little dark, but very true. the way it flowed, it seemed a little choppy, but it gave the effect of a person thinking these things as he or she witnessed them. over all, very nice.

I like it. I can relate entirely to that. Things like that pass through one's head everyday. well done. -Eve

It's not bad. a few things though. you might want to ease into the story a little more, but maybe start with something that will more catch the reader's eye. a hook, if you will. honestly I was a little bored going into it, and all too quickly I was confused. try to explain things a little more as you go. besides that, I thought it was well written, and one could really imagine what was happening. keep going, and with a little elbow grease it could really be great. -Eve

? I'm confused. It doesnt really make any sense...at all... On the good side you kept it clean with the 5,7,5 rule. That's good. Over all, not the best thing I'v read, but it wasn't horrible. Keep writing. I'm sure better will come along. -Eve

Very nicely put. There's not too much I can point out about this to work on. there was one or two wordy lines, like, "They point, laugh and snicker, When looking at me," but not many more than that. Good job. I'll be looking forward to reading more of your work. -Eve

I like it. It's hard to find good haikus worth reading on here these days. I'm glad I found this one. It makes me think of stepping back into a memory. keep up the good work. -Eve

"Kills as he travels, His mind does unravel, Like the servants, To the tower of Babel." "like the servants" in this stanza doesnt seem to fit with the flow of the poem. Now that that's out of the way, let me just say that I loved it. The way it's written mostly just flows off the tongue. You really expressed what was happening to give the feel of being inside of the brother's head. Good work. -Eve

It's a very cute description. It made me smile for the first time today. It's probably been pointed out quite a few times, but you might want to start each line with a Cappital letter. It doesnt detract from it either way. Good job.

I was too wrapped up in this poem to notice anything wrong with it. It's really good and it touched me. The way the innocent eye- narration is used is very fitting. god job.

Very nice. It's very descriptive, and very clear. There's not much I can say about it thats negative.