I dont see any beat in it..or how some one would sing this. Maybe it could become rap, but I liked it. I agree with these words. No one is ever really free if you have boundries such as government and flags. I greatly admire this...and I encourage you to write more of this kind of work. It is things people need to learn and understand. MORE PEACE AND LOVE NOT WAR! *Marybeth

Hmm. Not that bad, you have some spelling errors though. In the first sentence in the second paragraph, "Everything went as planned, but the scientists wasn’t prepared for the aftermath." the word "wasn't" should be "weren't". In the second sentence of the second paragraph, "All the clones had fairs kin, brown eyes, and shaved down dark hair just like Alec." the words "fairs kin" I'm pretty sure it is supposed to be "fair skin", right? Overall this isn't that bad of a start. You could go into...

This isn't all that bad. The rhythm isn't all together, and the beginning rhyming sounds a bit forced. But it is a sad poem, it is nice. But the meaning is a bit off in my head, did this have to do with an abusive husband? Or am I off by a longshot?

Interesting. At first I thought the poem was about a very cold person, but in the end I'm guessing it is about perfect lovers? Soulmates? I found it cool how you didn't really seem to care about rhyming, like this poem was meant to be plain and straightfoward, as love (I think) should really be just plain and straightfoward so you aren't so mysterioius. Oh no, that was just me rambling on. But all in all this poem is interesting and unique.

This is a very beginner poem. Keep working and you may be a great poet someday, but it takes (sometimes) hard work. It sounds like the rhyming is forced, extremely forced. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it may help when reading, to make the poem go faster, or to make it more interesting and intriguing. Note: the word "hart" is spelt wrong, it is spelt "heart"

I think it would be better if each line would be seperated, like in your poem "stressed". The word "cuz" is just weird, I know you mean the word "cause" but it still is just weird. Same with the word "wit" in the sentence " I shot my family wit ugly words...", those two words just seem like they don't belong, or at least their spelling doesn't belong. Also the number 2, usually people type/write out numbers under one-hundred, usually. That is also an odd thing to put in here, try to type out ...

Hmm, your poetry is starting to look like rap. The word "stressfull" is spelt with one L. Im a bit stumped though. What does the word "undresianed" mean? I've never heard of the word. I looked it up, and I don't think it is a word, if you could just get back to me on that note I might understand it better. But over-all since I am reading this like a poem it is weird, but when I view it as rap lyrics, it makes it more interesting.

This touched my heart. This is sad. I read the notes for reviewer part, and I bet your mum will live for her birthday, you have to be positive about it! Great memior, even though sad and heart-breaking, good luck.

This still needs some work. I really do love the whole story line and what it's about. But maybe you need to elaborate more on conversations, or descriptions on people and places. Maybe if you have an argument between Aries and Watesha about the powers, the whole "oh yeah I believe you, I'm not skeptical" deal isn't good. The storyline is going by too fast for me. Also, I think spacing out these two chapters would be nice; this is just too much information for only two chapters. You find out ...

I read the first two chapters and then I read this. I like the prologue more. You elaborated more on details. I understand that the planets name is in the description or whatever, but if this is ever published into a book the readers need to know or should know what planet they are on. Unless I'm mistaken I don't believe that the planet's name is mentioned in this piece. Also, how do the girls get to their adoptive families? Does Malaysa give them to the families? You should make this clear, ...