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WufaiRagnarok's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Greensboro, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 01
LOC: Greensboro, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 01
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Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
8 Comments
What have we done? The same as before Tell me what you think Let you in the door Perfect night we had Just a prelude To another standoff (Chorus) Kill it all away But leave some Rotting over me Such a wonderful Beautiful scent Can we do it again? The same as before Such a grateful thing Someone to call mine Until morning comes What has come A heartfelt disaster (Chorus) Say that you love me? Doesn't mean a thing Tearing this hole My veins never heal Forever remind me why An after thought To t...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
Another excuse, that what you need? Perfect opportunity to lay this out Don't need to give anothe explanation Accept me for the man I've now become Otherwise a walk down an unfamiliar road The only thing you'll ever see (Chorus) Cracked and torn you were Til the day my hand reached Pulling you up when I knew Such a disastrous move As you reach for the edge Coldly put this blade into the back of my throat choking on your pity Again with this, only an after thought Speak through these ears with...
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Reviews
This was really good. You painted a really good image even though I would like to suggest that you add in more stanzas
This was an excellent piece to read through. You had a great flow and really let your words stand out.
I certainly liked your topic as well as your approach at the end. I thought you really brought up a great point but I also believe that you should try to go back and work on the flow a bit more and maybe remove some of the 'I's
Most of this really kind of reads off like a list by itself with the constant use of 'she' in oppose to maybe switching up the tone. Maybe using 'that entity' or 'such a girl' Just a minor suggestion; I did like it
This poem was really amazing. This one I have to say I was quite shocked by due to how well it read off and the ideas you covered, though cliche, you made very personal and I felt your emotions through the good and bad. My one area of criticism would have to be as astounding as this was in it's entirity it doesn't hook you right off the bat. In the first line I didn't see 'walking the lowly and dim narrow path' as really adding to the overall great flow. I'm not sure exactly how I'd change it...
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