Writer4Life's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Denver, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 12
LOC: Denver, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 12
My name is Jodi and I am a 16 year old junior. I have a picture up of me and my closest friend. I am on the left and my friend is on the right. I am thankful for the things that I have been given in my life such as my friends. We benefit eachother so much, and there is not a time that we do not laugh histerically when we are together. Many people are afraid to cross my path and they consider me very “gangster”, but if you get to know me you will find that I am the opposite of what I look like I am. It is a necessity that I am accepting and caring to many everyone. All I want to do in life is help people be content, and so far I haven’t done too bad. I will go to great lengths just to see a person smile although sometime I find I g…
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In a single breath, the memory of the little house had enough time to register into my sweet, innocent mind. It became my greatest fairytale desire and yet my harshest, most unwanted nightmare as a child. Spring was alive, and this was the season I my heart belonged to. It welcomed eager little children like me on explorations of the imaginary world, and today I wasn’t going to disappoint, for I was about to go on an expedition to a place of hidden secrets, a place where I could also store mi...
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A friend let me see a unique sight that she created because of her own happiness, a smile as precious as the cure for pain. To witness the sight again, I would inspire the will that guides her as if her greatness was the key to my own survival. I would release my soul as if I was forever releasing my problems. Outrageous sight, a second of incredible perfection, energy to fuel the weak, a key to eternal contentment, and the solution to forever relaxing my nerves, mind, and heart: my life was ...
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Time accelerated at incredible speeds in her life. What she knew before felt so far in the past that it didn’t even live through a memory. The things that made her smile were no longer used, for the time she once had was no longer there to use them. Life made her a slave to unhappiness. She was subjected to constant work, constant battles, and constant isolation from the people that mattered to her at the highest degree. She was subjected to a search that only gave her dead ends and more pai...
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I was taken off guard by the cussing. Cussing is fine, but it seemed unnecessary, especially in the beginning, even considering the circumstance of him being chased. Maybe add a little less, or perhaps before it explain how his nervousness caused him to spit out repetitious cussing. "He’s a flash of the streetlights’ imagination"... I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. You are personifying the streetlights, which seems like it has no logic. I love... "blink in the eyes of teenage lover...
It's true, I must say, that Haikus seem to be pointless. I like this poem, because it got your point across quite well, and it is, in face, funny. Still, though they seem pointless, we know that they aren't. Haikus, if created thoughtfully, are masterpiece works. I'm not sure what to say other than... good job. I enjoyed reading.
This is an interesting point of view for a car accident. In fact, it is kind of stinging. I like how you fade in and out of the moments concerning the accident and past memories. I really love your plot; it is quite strong. There are a couple of things that don't seem to make sense though. Some of them are... the driver calling his daughter, a kid randomly walking by the accident as if nothing happened, and a policeman asking if the character is an organ donor. It's as if the character was in...
Haikus may seem to be easy because they are short, but that is the complete opposite. If anything, they are all the more difficult because you are stuck to a certain number of syllables and you must say everything in your heart in but a few words. I think that you expressed the moment perfectly. "You are me; my son." This is a deep part that summed the whole feeling up and completed the poem. The only thing I would look at is the second line. See, it should be, "With tears in your eyes you to...
This is a very sweet poem. I can't help but to smile while reading this. There are a couple of things I consider reduntant in here though. "Not on this earth, not in this time, this setting…" Not in this earth could belong, but the other two are not needed. Your point comes directly across with just the first part. Watch for that, because it happens a couple of times. I think that you were talking about how their eyes were so caring and open to the world around them, wanting to help everyone ...
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