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Whetstone's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: Round Hill, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 31
LOC: Round Hill, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 31
Hey.
I’ve been writing poetry for about 3 months now, not very long. I love to get feedback good or bad. I write around different people that I meet and I form character around them. I play guitar and I sometimes end up making my poems into songs.
I have horrible spelling so if you actually tell me the words I spell wrong instead of just saying you have spelling errors that would be much much better.
My most recent poem (song actually) would Revere. I would love to hear what everyone thinks of that one.
Peace
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Version 3
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Should be dead. It's Sunday morning and darkness is closing in. I stumble to the wall, cold, keeping me form my freedom. Hitting my head against steel bars to keep you from my mind. Make a decision, leave me here to burn in Hell??? Your dead to me now, just like the rest of the world. Someone came to visit that day. I lifted my head to see the light of a 1000 angels, and turned away. He picked me up and showed me the world. "Show me when I can really believe." The sky a darkened and I heard s...
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Version 2
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You've been criticized for the works Of 30 odd years The pages of life come on faster than fear When it went on you lost more than a tear But later you may finda' life you can revere They hit you at home You were embarrased at school The scar down your face Is a sweltering groove You started screaming And they made the move You look to the sky and ask Whats there to lose? Never done this before So open the door With his helping hand You can get through I have been curcified with Christ And I ...
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Version 2
8 Reviews
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Dont ever frown because someone out there is falling in love with your smile.
Version 1
2 Reviews
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Dont ever frown because someone out there is falling in love with your smiling.
Version 2
1 Review
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Should be dead. It's Sunday morining and darkness is closing in. I stumble to the wall, cold, keeping me form my freedom. Hitting my head against steel bars to keep you from my mind. Make a decision, leave me here to burn in Hell??? Your dead to me now, just like the rest of the world. Someone came to visit that day. I lifted my head to see the light of a 1000 angels, and turned away. He picked me up and showed me the world. "Show me when I can really believe." The sky a darkend and I heard s...
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it was ok i think its just because im not a huge fan of haikus. But yea ive never heard a haiku that sounded like there was thought put into it. good job. i review for reviews.
Well, first off I dont get what you meant with the goal "Best haiku on urbis" because its not a haiku. Other than that I think it was pretty good. You seemed like you were trying to go for a rhyme scheme in some parts but then stopped and that doesnt sound right. So you either have to do free verse or get a rhyme scheme. And in the thrid stanza you use gone twice and that doenst sound good. So just edit it and youll be good. It was a very good message though. Keep writing! ~Peace~
wow that was really really good. I have to give major props to you for that. That totally explains how life is and that even though you dont know which way to go you have to pick on or you will be stuck on the path you are on which may not be the one you are looking for. It was long enough and had a very good message. Keep on writing my friend! ~Peace~
This was very funny, but it was totally true. If you dont know the person most of the goals wont make sence. and i love how you put the dumb goals at the end lol. that really proved your point. major props to you my friend. ~Peace~
Wow. Thats something that deff. would of helped me through my time of hardship. That explains exactly how it is, if you feel like theres nothing, you have to do something. I deff. think that should be published. That could deff. help someone who really needs it. Write On. ~Peace~
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