WanderingVerse's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 28
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 28
Hello fellow writers, I am fairly new to urbis and am really enjoying both having a means to express my work and also viewing and reviewing the work of others. I have been writing verse since I was about 11 and get a lot of enjoyment from it.
Please review my work, like most writers I thrive on feedback and understand receiving constructive criticism is a big part of refining one’s style. I do however dislike people who review work as if there say was the be all and end all, I always try to make clear that my opinion is just that and like all humans sometimes I’m get it wrong.
Thank you for reading this and I hope you find my work interesting at least.
Tom
Items
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
A single star sat in the black, And it I watched through curtains crack. Till earth’s rotation, to by despair, Stopped that star from being there. Whilst laying still, I knew it true, That smallest movement if I do. Oh star and I would reunite, Her flickering beauty, my appreciative sight. Yet I understood like moments past, Our relationship was not to last. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind, Another star some day I’ll find.
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Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
It's almost 3 o'clock in the morning, And I should have been asleep by 12. But thoughts in by mind have enlarged and combined. It's mad what you find when you delve. The worries that daily hang over us, And anchor our dreams to the ground. The stress's in life; bring discomfort and strife, And that second hand just spins round. And where will life take me tomorrow, And what will I do next year. The uncertainty of our future; and the doubts that we nurture. Kindles the fire of fear. The decisi...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
My favorite escape Ink ladened creativity
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Version 2
6 Reviews
1 Comment
Constantly craving inspiration, Indifference depletes existence.
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Opportunities
Version 2
1 Review
0 Comments
A single tear evades my eye, I'll let it fall. I deserve that much at least. Gravity driven, it descends my face, Provoking my nerves to acknowledge it. That solitary salty droplet harbours my heartache. But unfortunately as it departed, It left its unwanted cargo. And who can blame it, For it is but a tear, And I, a man of 24 years, Have not found a way to successfully contain that emotion. Days when that feeling of loneliness and inadequacy encapsulated my life, Are suddenly commemorated an...
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Reviews
I found this poem quite hard to review. Some parts of it are simply brilliant, some parts I struggled to understand the point you are trying to make and some parts I personally felt didn't flow quite as well as I would have liked. In the third stanza I don't think the first "is" is necessary in the line "What is often times is not what it seems," I think it confuses the meaning of the line. I also don't understand the line “New York City Blues”, is that musical or somehow tied into environmen...
I love this poem. You have portrayed great emotion and imagery through competent and imaginative word usage. This is a piece that made me want to read on, yearning for more and it did not let down. You have written some truly great lines "So she turns away, with yesterday in her eyes" has to be my favourite but I could list many more. It is very well written and has great structure making it a fluid and encapsulating read. I think the ending is perfect for the piece and personally suggest you...
Wow, you have a serious talent. The insight you show is mature far beyond your years and in fact further developed than many people will achieve in a lifetime. I was going to note a few of favourite lines but I would have ended up copying and pasting the whole poem. This is an extremely impressive piece that I feel strangely connected to and will read many times in the future. I'd like to join you on mars one day but I’ll respect you clame to it.
This piece made me smile because I can really relate to your point. Most writers crave recognition and dream of being the “next Hemingway”. Don't give up, writing, like all artistic pastimes improves with age, understanding and experience.
Wow, what a great piece of writing. You have captured the essence of this story and expressed it in a very competent way. I love the way you have a running comparison with fairytales, especially seen as the true story is far from idyllic. I particularly like the lines "they called you Fairy Tale Princess and put you in a tower" and "No one noticed you were sleepwalking" and I could go on. By far one of the best pieces I have reviewed on the site. Well done!
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