VoicesInMyHead's profile

VoicesInMyHead avatar
AGE: 40
LOC: Auburn, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 26

Finding out about people’s journey in life and becoming a better person as a result of their journey.

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Items
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Looking to the heavens begging your maker to please take you home. Flesh shredded from bone pain unbearable blast from your foe not seen feet walked away from you hoping not to become John Doe on the battlefield. Body broken for the RED WHITE and BLUE decorated with medals sent home to die in your new home wheelchair made just for you. Sacrificed at nineteen refuse discarded in your land of birth just another citizen that litters the earth. Lies told that a hero you will be eyes looking beyon...
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Version 1
13 Reviews   0 Comments
Tears are falling in the Congo spilling on your colorful dress face beautified with pain and anguish soldiers with their mighty guns visiting you without asking taking your treasure sharing the bounty with many treating your body like the enemy leaving emptiness inside you that grows to become like you reminder of the tears that flowed when your beauty was abducted. Tears are falling in the Congo voices unheard in the jungle of Africa shouting out mercy please someone hear me tears falling li...
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Poetry / Lost Soul
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Last night you whispered goodbye to me in my sleep disappearing amongst the stars taking our memories with you. I watched you leave without opening my eyes feeling your vile presence seeping away from the room. Dark clouds vanished brightness appeared though its dark. Relieved I am. Storybook fling closed. Your face I will no longer behold. Door slam shut. Forever. I will pray for you though not tonight I am tired. Tomorrow.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Welcome to my America a land given to me without choice in my youth a land that created a man and shaped my views. My America with its bleeding wounds suffered in battles fought along shores and slave driven cotton fields blood shed for freedom for those taken far away from home crossing many seas. Welcome to my America where blood bathes the memory of the soldiers of the sixties when dogs teeth left imprints of courage and water hoses drowned bravery of men and women whose lives were taken b...
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Version 1
11 Reviews   0 Comments
These are not your Martin Negroes your lunch counter Negroes walk behind me two paces Negroes turn the other cheek Negroes who stood and watch while batons rained down on heads Negroes blood staining flesh Negroes not raising hands in protest Negroes pray to Jesus he will beset Negroes. These are your Malcolm Negroes a new breed carrying four hundreds years of frustration Negroes who read countless stories and saw the movies played out daily in their communities bear arms to protect resurrect...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Words
I love this piece. Honey filled, warmed to ripple in the golden sunlight. This is a powerful line filled with so much imagery. Nice work, talented woman.
Poetry / Broken Mirror
I loved this piece of work. The images were very strong and they helped the poem to flow so well. You have a nice ability to tell a story without revealing too much and you were able to capture that in this piece. Loved it.
First of all I really loved this piece . The opening with Barak waiting for his turn to enter the cave to speak to Devora was strong, and once he got inside the description of the cave and the conversation betwen the two was great. You have a wonderful talent with dialogue, I could see this conversation taking place and how devora prolong the conversation before telling him what she wanted. I was wrapped up into all the characters and how you masterfully painted them, bringing them all to lif...
Poetry / Unseen Dream
The poem started off very well but then it got away from poetry I think and became a piece expounding on things without a real purpose. I think you need some imagery. You should look into using some strong metaphors to help your piece to flow better. Right now its just words on a page without saying anything powerful.
I loved the subject matter and I think the poem works on some levels, but the caps put me off and the spacing through me off also. I think you have a wonderful talent and I hope you will continue to cultivate it.
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