VeeLee's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Chicago, IL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 07
LOC: Chicago, IL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 07
Putting my work out there and trying to get better. Striving, striving. And if I happen to get published in the process, well, no harm done.
Items
Version 1
19 Reviews
11 Comments
Sarah stands on the bridge, looking over the bay, her mittened hands holding a tin can. It is not flashy, this can, it cannot properly be described as decorative, but it has a certain classic appeal. Silver, with a matte finish, and a size that would accommodate two dozen small cookies. You would not be embarrassed to give a holiday gift in this tin. In fact, you might feel a delicate sense of superiority over those whose tins are covered with gaudy candy canes or santas. Likely you would not...
Version 1
15 Reviews
17 Comments
The living room is dark because he hasn’t bothered with the lights. It’s raining and the front door is open. His lit cigarette glows and fades with each drag like a distant orange star. He is sitting and smoking, drinking and sitting. There is ice in the glass, or maybe there isn’t. Maybe there was ice in the glass, but it’s melted now and the whiskey has gone thin. Maybe this is what puts him over the edge, gets him up out of his chair to go after something. What is certain is that he trips ...
Version 1
5 Reviews
8 Comments
My daughter is crying. In her room, with her father. There is some altercation over bedtime stories. I resist the urge to get involved, to fix the problem my way. But here she comes, seeking me out, thinking that I’ll take her side. It’s not a stretch; I often do take her side. Overcompensating because of my inherent distrust in the justice meted out by fathers. It’s unfair. He’s her father, not mine. Not only does he have the necessary tools, he also has the desire to do the right thing. But...
Version 1
4 Reviews
2 Comments
The Lunch From his perspective, it’s bad. Really bad. I get it. The story as he told it makes me look like such an ogre that his entire side of the family has all but disowned me. My great aunt, of whom I have so many happy memories, turned away from me at his memorial service. He must have told them about the lunch—it’s the only explanation I have for their behavior. Let me tell you what happened. My father had cancer. Throat cancer, to be precise. It was discovered by accident, when the tub...
Version 1
9 Reviews
10 Comments
The Lunch From his perspective, it’s bad. Really bad. I get it. The story as he told it makes me look like such an ogre that his entire side of the family has all but disowned me. My great aunt, of whom I have so many happy memories, turned aside when I tried to say hello to her at his memorial service. I couldn’t have been less a person to her if I had turned into a ficus tree on the spot. But I digress. Let me tell you what happened. My father had cancer. Throat cancer, to be precise. It wa...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
There's a lot that I like about this story--the conversational tone is inviting, and is fitting for Vicky's character. We get a pretty good idea of who she is and what motivates her. Brian is more of an enigma, though. I want to get into his head, see what makes him tick. Less dialogue and more action between the two of them would help that. As to the structure: once I reached the end of the story, the way Vicky presents the timeline of their relationship made sense--the jumbled up sequence o...
I completely enjoyed reading this story all the way through, and think that it's fine placed where it is in the humor category. You capture the rent-a-cop's overenthusiastic view of his own authority nicely, and we're rooting for Mort the whole way. Though it does make us feel guilty for hoping that a diabetic will end up with a giant stash of candy bars... Overall, I think this piece could do with a little tightening up (things like the run-on sentence in the final paragraph) but is a very p...
I think this piece would be better placed in the blog category--it introduces a lot of topics, while only really exploring one. What are your thoughts about the earthquake/tornadoes? Why are they hip and cool?
You certainly capture the "when misery rains, it pours" kind of day we've all been subjected to now and then. The story wraps up a little abruptly though--I wanted to know where the mouse was obtained (and how), and some details of the ride home as icing on the bad day cake (potholes? parking tickets?). Just a thought.
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
















