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Valaeryn's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Van, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 29
LOC: Van, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 29
I’m twenty years old and I currently reside in Van, Texas. I attend Tyler Junior College, which is pretty desolate when searching for people to critique your works. I’m here so that people may begin worshiping me and hail me as a brilliant writer. Yep-yep. And I’m not at all full of myself.
Items
Version 1
8 Reviews
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A Vacant Philosophy The Life Antics of an Eccentric Young Survivor of East Texan Idiocy Introduction To any and all that may read this, I offer you my deepest condolences. Unfortunately, I am nothing of a true philosopher. I am still a child trapped in the body of a young man. Naiveté is my closest friend. I have lived a prosperous, albeit meaningless pair of decades and I hope I shall continue to do so for several decades more. I am prone to spotting stereotypes, being sexist, offending peop...
Version 2
1 Review
1 Comment
Wrath of the Fallen Prologue The chronicles of the twelfth century held undying legends of valiant men and women galore. One such man, a man named Arelius, shook the very foundations of the Kingdom of Lerum in his time, and still they shook for hundreds of years more. His tale, a tale of strife, woe, and vengeance, he etched into the stones of time with the same blade which took away the last breath of a tyrant. Prosperity flourished, but passed two-hundred and fifty years after his death. Ta...
Version 1
6 Reviews
3 Comments
Tranden Chapter One ‘“Amongst the living of old, there existed a small few known as the elves. Their ivory skin reflected the purity within them. They lived with the woodland creatures, ever watchful, ever conscious of their surroundings. They devoted their hearts and minds only into each other and the continuation of their survival. For this, they fancied themselves immortal. Legends say they have walked the earth or thousands of years. Sadly, we humans fear that which is not our own way. Ti...
Version 1
3 Reviews
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“Mmmm… that was a workout,” Kaze said. He stretched and wrapped his arm around Kaileen while his other hand lightly brushed her hair. His rough, tanned skin draped over the ivory skin she called her own like a blanket, warming her to the touch. She smiled in response and leaned in to plant a kiss on his neck. “Don’t get used to it,” she began, “unless you plan on making me your bride.” Kaze’s master, Lord Drake, pawned her off to him as recognition for outstanding service; it was a first for ...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
I first laid eyes upon her, A beauty inconceivable, yet conceived, An untouched diamond nestled into Earth’s womb, Although others would polish and shape her, Nature never blessed a woman as much as she, She turned to me with her eyes, Blue and bright as summer’s midday sky, Already, my heart ascended to great heights, Raced and burrowed straight through my chest, And into her hands before she even spoke, The siren of tales long forgotten sang to me, Her voice was gentle, light, and as high a...
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Reviews
I've never written a haiku, but I imagine this one is far better than anything I could ever come up with. It's a little bit of an odd topic to approach. I imagine you had some kind of recent experience with a coyote? Or, if there is a deeper meaning, I can certainly appreciate what it means to see justice be served in such a way.
Well, my friend, here is the problem. By content, the story is indeed enjoyable and I believe it would do well. However, in my humble opinion, if you would spice up the vocabulary the story would have more zest. The dialog sounds a bit robotic. It could be just me, though, since these characters sound a bit on the southern side and since I'm southern myself, I tend to avoid it. Still, best of luck.
This is truly a heart-melting story. It's certainly a bleak tone due to the fact that it's hard to imagine things can improve, but I think anyone who has read this will hope deep inside that things improve for them. Patricia's difficulties with everyday life and the fact that she exhibits her longing for a positive male figure by pleading to her mother to 'play daddy' is especially heartwarming, albeit painful. I wish you the best of luck, but with all problems addressed and your incredible a...
LOVE IT! I especially loved the 'self-loathing Jewish chapter.' Priceless. I had no choice but to give you a ten. This is something I've often wondered about myself. After all, isn't being against the prejudiced a prejudice in and of itself? I should have written it, but you beat me to it. Well done and kudos, my friend.
I'd say it's a little vague. It does evoke a lot of thoughts I relate to. Such as me not being able to bag the woman of my dreams that freakin' married an ex-convict. Enough about that, though. Still, I like 'emerald shades' and 'rabbit hole,' etc. Not bad! Keep it up. Oh, and the rhythm is catchy.
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