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TourmentedSoulz's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 09
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 09
I am 24 years old , and am the mother of two very beautiful and loving children.I have been writing since the tender age of seven.
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Version 2
7 Reviews
4 Comments
In a town called Brautin, way past the old mill, on the other side of the Great Widow Mountains, there once stood a town of Eminences disturbance. Such a ruckus arose that Shooly (a middle aged barkeep from the Frasmous Inn aka the Fras) awoke from a deep sleep. "What is all that noise?" barked Shooly. Reeca, his lovely but aging wife, screamed "How should I know, I was asleep just like you" as she stumbled out of bed. Trying to find her footing she stepped on a wooden bowl laying next to th...
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Version 1
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His breath smelled of cheap whiskey. His eyes black and sunken in. Arms showed fresh puncture wounds, lips chapped and purged together. His voice harsh and crisp, not so much as a word in the subtle tone of love spoken. A child I was, yet I understood. Mother crying in the kitchen , yet never making a sound. Such a lovely and beautiful woman , how could he hurt her so? I grew up in a not so humble home. A child I was in body , but a woman I was in spirit. The hospital room , so cold. What did...
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Version 1
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“Shooly, you never answered me, why are they after us?” Reeca asked; now bewildered by his blatant disregard of her question. Silence befell their conversation once again. “Since we are running for our lives the least that you could do is at least tell me why! You at least owe me that much Shooly!” The mere sound of her tone shook Shooly into a state of ne'er remorsefulness. If only he could tell her, he would, he knew that there was no way that she would understand. Hell; for the majority o...
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Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
In a town called Brautin, way past the old mill, on the other side of the Great Widow Mountains, there once stood a town of Eminences disturbance. Such a ruckus arose that Shooly (a middle aged barkeep from the Frasmous Inn aka the Fras) awoke from a deep sleep. "What is all that noise?" barked Shooly. Reeca, his lovely but aging wife, screamed "How the fuck should I know, I was asleep just like you" as she stumbled out of bed. Trying to find her footing she stepped on a wooden bowl laying n...
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Version 2
6 Reviews
2 Comments
GOOD DIE YOUNG... ALAS I'M IMMORTAL
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The overall concept of this piece is heartfelt and brilliant, however it seems as though the rhythm was forced. The emotions are quite strong that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to it. Good read, hope to see more from you.
The only problem I found with this story is in the sentence : “I won’t get away with this? A already have!” It should read "I won't get away with this? I already have!" Aside from this , your story flows really nicely. The images it draws within ones mind are almost equivalent to actually watching a movie of sorts.Thou I can understand why some may be confused and think that Adam and Jeff are lovers, I feel that the moments in which they share says nothing about being lovers but rather best f...
Brilliant! I am always getting those messages in my inbox as well. I love the way in which you crafted this. However I must agree that if you could have put more emphasis on some of the words the message would have defiantly made more of an impact.
Very amusing. Full of twists. I love how you try to pitch a sale in the end with "To answer your second question, they’re five dollars". I also love the wit implied by "Got to feed the family, ya know." Great story.
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