Thirdsqurl's profile

This is a bit beyond me. I like many of the word choices but don't sense a connection to the imagery. If its a homage to spring I wish it would conjure the feeling stronger. The lemon juice part lost me. I think the first two lines were the best.

Thought provoking and a bit haunting. Rather than use "that" twice in a row I might try "The one you save just for me", but maybe it's an Australian thing. Well, now that I've read your sad poem I'm depressed. See you later.

We don't have much snow in Los Angeles so the images aren't quite so strong with me but I did like several sections, particularly "Snow falls, the rain comes" and "with white crystals for a season". For some reason, "thick molassis red" throws me off. Maybe I'm dumb but I don't get it. I'm also not sure about about the "scrape of leaves" segment. I like the word choices and the flow but it also took me out of the scene set up by the "fog will fill the earth" just before it, which is a wonderf...

This reads like a short story but I like the flow of thought. Some of the "pain and fear", "be whole again", and "prison of my soul" lines tend to be overused in poetry and I think this piece would be better using original concepts or different word choices. I liked the lines such as "breaking through emptiness", "green leaves pushing through dead bark", and near the conclusion, "It's the last time I'll ever vist here," which conjured vivid images for me. More movement toward this sort of fre...

The opening lines are intriguing but the rest seems to fall into uncoordinated observations without a cohesive structure. The reader may ask, why is this important to me? Admittedly I like flowing verse, soaring philosophy, or challenging thoughts. Merely "looking" at someone I don't know, without any context, does not allow me to make a connection with the work.