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Sumelia's profile

Sumelia avatar
AGE: 24
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 03

Not really into writing about myself, but just so my page isn’t empty I will say that I’m an amateur writer, obviously. At the moment I am focusing on the SciFi/Fantasy genre and also poetry. I will take any criticism I get and try to adjust my work accordingly (within reason). I am always trying to better my work and I appreciate any suggestions you may have.

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Poetry / Dreaming
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
In her slumber finds a dream That makes life better than it seems He reaches for her with disregard For things that make his heart seem hard Without restraint the lovers meet To form a melody so sweet And turn the world upon its end The scars of time to slowly mend The difference of which I speak Makes lion's roar sound like a squeak A passion fiery in its form That differs so from life's true form
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Version 1
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Speak not with your mouth Let not words fall from your lips But murmurs that shake me throughout Let your lips kiss tenderly Your mind is brilliant Yet it is your heart that shines brightest Let your heartbeat echo through to my soul The emotion in your eyes is all I want to know I yearn for your embrace Hold me closer to you So that I may forget to breathe Your love speaks volumes to me Let your lips kiss feverishly My legs attempt to buckle beneath me I feel a need within my soul Le...
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Poetry / Second
Version 1
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Time tries to break apart the pain But I attempt to hold it together For that is all that I have left Try as he might he can not make it all go away Things build up within my heart As it tries to crumble in these waking hours I distract myself with things so trivial That they hold my interest briefly I spend so much time dwelling on what was I cannot focus on what good may come of this I find new things to break my spirit I obsess over things that I should not I allow myself to be overtake...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Sumelia Katari-Chapter 1
Version 1
6 Reviews   1 Comment
Chapter 1 A dreary melody played in the dimly lit pub as the clinking of glasses and quiet chatter echoed almost eerily throughout the room. Sumelia looked up as Victoire leaned over the counter to once again speak flirtatiously with the barmaid who looked back at him and then questioningly at Sumelia. “Do not worry about me. He does not belong to me, we are barely acquainted for a few months now, and not under the best circumstances, I assure you. Have at her, Vic!” Sumelia repl...
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Poetry / Self-destructive
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
I wrap myself around a thought And wallow deep within its pain To force myself to fear the truth And never be at peace again I hide the echoes in my mind Of happiness and girls' desires For selfish things I do not want I break away from everything To hide in recess of my mind I make myself depressed again But words will not make me complete And what exactly have I gained?
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Reviews
Poetry / I am Cain
"Able took my blessings." typo- you meant to write "Abel" It was clever how you wrote this from Cain's perspective and how he is unapologetic for what he did and blames everything on Abel and his parents. Keep up the great work.
"For the left behind" --For what's left behind (possibly) Definitely fit the title. Not much I would change. Keep up the good work.
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Ohh Wulver-Chpt 4 with recap
The first two sentences both begin with the same word. You might want to change that up. "Sold, the Cajun Burger it was." You may want to completely reword this sentence. It isn't grammatically correct. I liked the storyline. Audrey was kind of annoying but I think that's what you wanted. Kinda messed up that Nash did that, though I guess I understand that he didn't want someone stealing his woman, even if it was his best friend. Keep up the good work.
Horror / Nikki the Wraith
page 9- "My mom was tapped my dad on the shoulder and shook her head to say "no," but it was no use." omit the word "was" before "tapped" Very well written piece. I hope to read more soon.
Poetry / Bad Shuffle
This was funny. I like the flow of this, though I think the last line broke the rhythm a bit. May need some tweaking. But I do love this one.