Spencer_Forrest's profile

I was born Spencer De’Furest in Paris France, son to a wealthy shipping merchant. Much of my childhood was spent in the botanical gardens of our lush estate (just outside of Marne La Vallée) hunting small game with my father and spending time with Bureax, our prized racing stallion. I also spent a great deal of time on my education, being home-schooled by well know Harvard professor Jouche Fransias’ who was personally hired for my education.

When I was 5 years old the family moved to Athens Greece, when I was struck with tragedy. My father and mother were killed by lightning while attending a wedding for a family friend. 17 others were killed, bride and groom included; a bolt hit the flagpole located in the center majestic garde…

I was born Spencer De’Furest in Paris France, son to a wealthy shipping merchant. Much of my childhood was spent in the botanical gardens of our lush estate (just outside of Marne La Vallée) hunting small game with my father and spending time with Bureax, our prized racing stallion. I also spent a great deal of time on my education, being home-schooled by well know Harvard professor Jouche Fransias’ who was personally hired for my education.

When I was 5 years old the family moved to Athens Greece, when I was struck with tragedy. My father and mother were killed by lightning while attending a wedding for a family friend. 17 others were killed, bride and groom included; a bolt hit the flagpole located in the center majestic garden (the name of the hotel was the “De’Strucknkil” – coincidence?) which terminally electrocuted all people who were attending in that area.

With no family left and a huge amount of family wealth, I was sent to Ireland to live with my Aunt Millie who raised me until I was 18. Most of the time with Aunt Millie was uneventful; she was hospitalized in 1986 for Howertogophilla (addiction to drinking tap water) and I was placed in the country’s custody until I was 18, which was 2 years later.

At 18 years old I received my first disbursement check of $375 Million from my inheritance and I decided to travel to the USA. I had never gambled so I went to Las Vegas…I always wanted to go there. My second night there I met Darsha, a Russian lesbian and daughter to Romansky Petrova, Russian drug lord and leader of the Mafia outfit the “Svetansokipas”. I stayed in Vegas for 3 months living in the best suites and drinking the finest wines and partying daily—and gambling with insane amounts of money of course (they named a slot machine after me, “Spencer-Spin” believe it or not). Darsha and I married in 1990 (I know, Lesbian…long story) against her father’s wishes and I was forced to divorce Darsha and leave Las Vegas. Scared for my life, I changed my Irish name (had to change from French name to Irish name due to a court orders during the estate probate) from Spencer O’Forrest to Spencer Forrest in order to protect my identity from Romansky in the event he would be looking for me.

In 1992 I moved to Mobile Alabama where I attended an investor conference. I was approached by a small group of investors who wanted me to invest in their new project. That’s when Soup-in-a-Cone was founded. It sounded like a strange idea, however the south was full of soup lovers and one of the investment partners had a failing Baskin and Robins franchise. He had a warehouse full of waffle cones…so with a little time, $ and the invention of the H-17 Cone-Filler (a machine we invented to fill the cones through a dynamic soup filtering and injection process), we were on our way. From Tallahassee to Raleigh, people were enjoying our Soup-in-a-cone’s everywhere. By the mid 1990’s we had over 37 drive up Soup-in-a-Cone locations and 450 employees. I sold my part of the business to my partners in 2000 as I wanted to start a new business idea -the “wind up remote control” (no batteries needed!) but that’s an entirely different story.

In 2003 I was struck by tragedy once more. The bank in Greece which held my fortune (mostly in gold coins and cash) was destroyed by fire and lava in the La Creskiuva eruption. The bank had no records left—the entire building and all contents and employees were totally devastated, as was I. I lost approximately 4.5 billion dollars on that one dark day in August.

With little money, no family and a devastated life, I moved to New York City in early 2004. I worked as a waiter for Hoopers (owned by Hooters but with male waiters instead) where I worked until just last April. The restaurant was closed due to a lawsuit which was filed against the company by a male waiter who worked there, Walter Manassas, who was severely overweight. He was berated routinely by employees and patrons due to his appearance in the orange leg tights, which based on the court documents, “created nightmares, fevers, nocturnal eating and other psychological and emotional disorders” for Walter. He won the lawsuit and the business is now called “Walter’s Big-Boy Burgers” (pretty good burger actually). His whole story can be read in his book, “Walter Weighs-In” at any local bookstore.

I am currently unemployed and live in government sponsored housing located at 44th and 9th (Hell’s Kitchen) right in the heart of NYC. I started dating a real nice black girl from the upper east side who works at Kinko’s on 47th street. She gives me her key to the store and at night and I sneak in to use the computers, which is where I am campaigning from tonight. My Presidential Election bid in 2008, dedicated to fixing ALL the problems in this country, is a must-read if change is important to you. My first lady Yalonda and I ask that you support this initiative with open arms and follow us down the path of security and harmony for which I have layed for you.

Anyway, that’s my story, as boring as it may be….and if you believe any of the above, you certainly do not know me…

- Spencer Forrest