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SoonToBeAuthor115's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: KC, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 05
LOC: KC, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 05
Just your average kid. Trying to get somewhere with writing. People think I need to learn more before getting my stuff published. I do. I know that I am only 14 so just tell me what I need to know and I will listen!
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Version 2
8 Reviews
0 Comments
Prologue “Run, I’ll hold them off as long as I can!” One of the heads in the darkness chanted something I couldn’t hear. “You three get out of here-” An energy wave hit me on the left side of my ribs. Blood spilled from my mouth as I coughed. Even though it was apparent a few more of these hits would've sent me down for the count, I had to save them. They were my only family left. I barely caught the shadow of one of them flashing by and plowing me in the cheek bone. Stars circled my head as ...
Version 1
0 Reviews
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People have the wrong idea about Native Americans. They think what they see in the movies are completely true. This is called stereotype. The stereotype is that they all live in tepees and hunt buffalo. While many Native Americans did this, some lived differently. I will show you some examples of other Native Americans that were not like that. Arctic is a great example of a Native American region. There were Aleuts, Inuit, and Yupik that lived there. They had to adapt to cold winters and sho...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
(Two nerds are sitting in a yard and petting the grass. Layton finally stands up like he has an idea!) Layton: Oh my gawrsh! I have an idea! Clayton: Huh? What happened? Did your laptop crash again? (Clayton looks up to him but still pets the grass while staring blankly at Layton. Layton adjusts his glasses and looks around.) Layton: We could play fight! I will be Count Menace the evil warlock that is taking over your land. You can be Sun Striker who brings justice to all and you can be prot...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
A new kid, James, came to school and I felt it was up to me to help him from all the bullies or any other dangers a new kid might face at his or her school. Hour four is one time that I felt I had to come in and save him from a big fat juicy “F.” I helped him when he didn’t quite get what was going on. He likes to talk a lot so I had to keep telling him to work on his paper. I saw him in a predicament where a kid whose name I won’t say started pushing him so I thought of what to do to help o...
Version 1
9 Reviews
10 Comments
Prologue “Run! I’ll hold them off as long as I can!” One of the heads in the darkness chanted something I couldn’t hear. “You three get out of here-” An energy wave hit me on the left side of my ribs. Blood spilled from my mouth as I coughed. Even though I knew that a few more of these hits would send me down for the count, I had to save them. They were the only family I had left. This time I only caught the shadow of one of them flashing by and plowing my cheek bone. Stars circled my head a...
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Reviews
Very nice. I like how the ray of sun makes the pine vibrate. It reminds me of when I walk out into a sunny open area and my hair blows in the wind! amazing! A+ and the 5/7/5 rule works out great! This is publishable!
I enjoyed the read. I'm not sure why the tiger is referred to as the "paper tiger" though. And it makes sense how you mention the forest is forbidden! I really did like this piece! Some advice though, don't put too many criterias.. it's a little annoying to have to click on all of them..
This was very wonderfully written. I am only 14 so I can't offer much as advise... Sorry. I like how you write it and it can be comprehended by many age groups! Thank you for a good read! Clayton
This is actually pretty good. I have a few pointers though. I noticed you like to start paragraphs with the same words. On page seven, there are three paragraphs that start with the same word, "he." Minimize this by saying something along the lines of "while the cat was still purring, the owner began speaking." You also like to say a lot of the same words when ending a dialog. Such as "he asked." You can eliminate errors such as these by saying "He questioned." And if the reason you put "he a...
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