Siobhanio's profile
AGE:
47
LOC: Ireland
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 18
LOC: Ireland
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: February 18
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Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
It has been about week now since I got your last proper text. I should have realised that it would be the last one but I suppose I was blocking reality out. I wish I had known then what I know now. Over the past year we have shared many many ups and downs. It's funny to think that we talked about so much and actually didn't know each other that well in the real world. But we talked everyday and pushed each other through some awful days and nights.My days always ended on a high even thou...
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Some Other Person went to see Doctor Ross today. Some Other Person was weighed and measured; poked and prodded Some Other Person's blood pressure is perfect Some Other Person has a stomach ulcer Some Other Person saw the needle inserted and flinched as the brief flash of pain shot up her arm. Some Other Person felt her heart beat louder and stronger as Doctor Ross explained the examination procedures and why the indignity of the finger up the bum will probably bring a better message. Some oth...
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
The shopping trip caused mayhem and outrage in the office. Even The Very Important Team Meeting had a bit of shopping advice on the agenda. I was the office mission for a full day and was eventually dispatched to the shops with a helper. After 2 hours in my company, I could see her blood pressure rising and she made a crisis call to the office for reinforcements and sandwiches. As usual, my sandwhich order was 'anything except aubergines' (long story) which sparked the comment from one of my ...
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
It can't be just me. I have had the sad duty today of having to search for suitable attire for The Office Party. I have spent three months hiding from the party organiser. Everytime the subject arose, I found an excuse for abandoning the conversation. I even went to far as to say, in no uncertain terms, ' I ain't going'. And what did I find? Some comedian thought they would make sure that i was added to the list of party animals. So after all my hard work, I have run out of avoidance techniqu...
Version 1
1 Review
5 Comments
It can't be just me. I have had the sad duty today of having to search for suitable attire for The Office Party. I have spent three months hiding from the party organiser. Everytime the subject arose, I found an excuse for abandoning the conversation. I even went to far as to say, in no uncertain terms, ' I ain't going'. And what did I find? Some comedian thought they would make sure that i was added to the list of party animals. So after all my hard work, I have run out of avoidance techniqu...
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Reviews
This is a good start to a story. Some of the dialogue clumsy is a little and particularly where the punctuation is incorrect (eg ' I know for a fact that she lies to everyone about it. Telling the guest that she uses it to store ladders and paint in it," The room is not used for a storeroom.....' The 'speech marks' should not follow 'paint in it' but should be at the end of Lona's statement. That particular statement might be a little more punchy if it was shorter (eg ' I know she lies to eve...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
It's a good tale. To me it's a survival story and not a pleasant one. It was one of surviving by joining the game instead of 'rising above it' as the 'hero' in a nice shiny story would do. However, I think you have tried to tell the story too fast. I think there is a much longer story in this where you could elaborate on some of the detail. e.g you hint at a less than wholesome relationship with your folks and you could open that out. Similarly you could develop the story about juvie and how ...
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