Wow! This story has fantastic description. It took me there with the words. I saw the room and woman and felt the emotions of what would happen and what already had. The use of color and the lack of it was a great metaphor for what had died and the little bit of life bearly hanging on. Beautifully written. I bet yout teacher loved you!

Overall, I liked this poem. Some lines could use tightening like "Thinking that in this does peace reside." I especially liked the end line. The way it was flowing the meaning came unexpectedly at the end. Good poem!

This story kept my interest. I liked the point of view and internal dialogue. I was very effective in expressing the character's personality with economy of means, as well as, how our thoughts and emotions jade our perspective of others. A good short story.

The description in this story is great. I especially liked the "weakness of fire". That is an unusual way of looking at it and it's reference to the even weaker men.You said alot in very few, but elegant, words. The end does need to be stronger, at least the posion does, but it is well written.

I want more! You capture my attention quickly and drew me in. The writing itself was great.The description was just right, enough to tell the story, but didn't go off on a tangent in different directions. But, again, I want more!

Descibes the depth of your love for music. Concise and poetic.

The format of your words grabbed my attention. I especially liked " walking next to me in full daylight". Unmasked and open. An ephinany revealed.

Agree. You can not retire from something that is natural as breathing without dying, this is not to say, you may not take a very long sabatical from time to time, but never really retire.

I like the way you used insignificant items "a stray hair" ... to represent "him". It is these small things that stir memories and emotion, in life, and in your poem. This piece read like lyrics to a song. I also liked the fact that the last line of each stanza did not rythme like the rest. This made it stand out, or should I say, made "You" stand out. Overall Ireally thought it was well written.

Many of the lines in this poem bring me to that "place" somewhere between a dream and what once was. "Willing myself back into the night" is an extremely strong line, universal I think, to all of us who have fought to stay in that "place". "The almost touch" is also a wonderful line describing how "real" a dream can feel. The poem is sensual in more than one way, by both making you feel you are there and feeling the memory as well.