Seaswept's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 02
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 02
Hi, yes, my name is Cait. That seems an appropriate way to start out with this thing. I like to write fantasy novels about magic, dark, dangerous secrets, love and war. I sense that i’m not alone. Haha.
I am no longer in school for many boring reasons i dislike talking about, and i sat down one day with a piece of loose-leaf and an idea. I’d wanted to write forever, but thought it was weird for someone as young as me. Then, it hit me: I am wierd. I always have been, i always will be. Yay. So, back to this thrilling tale. I sat down with my paper and wrote one sentence. It was a brilliant sentence, let me tell you, and then i tucked away the paper on my bookshelf until the day i could think up another brilliant sentence that could follo…
Items
Version 1
7 Reviews
2 Comments
Basil Rook’s career began in a time where there was a great need for the healing powers of real magic. The people were driven apart by war, by violence and hatred. They thrived on misery, fed on despair, and when they wearied of that, they found they had nothing to do to make themselves feel. They retreated into their shells, with nothing to do but wait for someone to show them the way to happiness, to sadness, to anything at all. They were ready to follow, tired of having to think for thems...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
It has been six months since the great Age Minister became a pardoned man, and though I had hoped to show him the basics of being a detective, he seems to have it down better then I ever did. I have never heard of his education, but he must have attended some university to be able to obtain a status in crime investigation. His independent practice seems a joke to Scotland Yard, and they take every chance they can to make a fool out of him. Never yet have I seen them succeed. He has become a ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Xavier lifted from the water on a great rush of strength, his sparkling white scales dripping the icy water down to the restless seas below as he soared higher and higher, unable to get enough air in his lungs to satisfy his thirst for it. Once he’d gone high enough to view the clear ocean for miles, he peered down, in search of the Red Lady. He saw nothing at first, but the angry grey clouds that threatened to blow, the heavy white mists, and a tiny wooden rowboat that seemed to have been a...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Ch. 4 Not far off from where the companions were riding, Phoenix smiled to himself beneath the heavy leather hood of his cloak. “Meara, right please, towards our guests,” he said quietly to the large golden beast he was seated upon. She nodded her enormous, feathered head and took off at a trot, speaking to him in a motherly voice. "You know very well what you’re getting into," she said, and he could almost picture her wagging a stern finger in his face. “Yes mother,” he said as his grin wide...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Ch. 3 The Blood Range After introductions were finished, the chosen four were all quickly guided to rooms so they could get a full nights rest, and when they awoke groggily in the early dawn, they were greeted by gusting winds, angry black storm clouds, and fat, violent raindrops that battered their cloaked heads mercilessly. “Off to a good start eh`?” Bronwyn yelled lightly to Coran, who appeared to have sunk a few inches into the mud. Optimism still came easy this early on in their journey...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I did catch a few slip-ups in tenses and minor grammar, but those don't really matter once you've looked over the piece ten thousand times, which I'm sure you will. :-) Red pens are easy to come by, especially here in cyber-space. The first sentence, for example: "It was on the day the Catnachs died that I realised I would never know what love is." It should be "was," not "is." And "realized," not "realised." But really - the British sometimes swap z's and s's, add spontaneous e's, and make o...
First of all, I was struck by your story plot. Wonderful! Ancient Egypt has always been a fascination of mine, and I've even considered a story focusing on the Gods. I also love the ever-continuing, building metaphor of Qebera being the rabbit, while the Setim the hounds. It strengthens his character. This is the first I've read of the piece, but it held its own, and flowed very well. Your spelling and grammar were good too, save for the occasional spliced sentence. For example: "Hope against...
Although I haven't read any of the previous chapters, I could still follow the story with relatively little trouble. That's good. And your dialogue flowed smoothly and naturally. I could almost hear them talking (but perhaps that's just my vivid imagination?) : ) I did notice, however, that you put some commas where you didn't need them, and had some sentences that felt like they would burst if another word was dropped in the pool. The closing sentence, for example, felt too full. Perhaps you...
I think this was wonderfully written, and certainly a refreshing change of pace! I like a certain amount of mystery in my first chapters, and this did the trick. I now want to know who Kye and Timpkin are, where they live, and what their lives consist of. I also want to know more about these talking beasts (not that we aren't beasts ourselves). I found your spelling was flawless, and aside from a few sentences that could have been strung together more carefully, this was great! Cheers! I hope...
This piece was truly intriguing - I read through it, from start to finish, and wished for more. The idea of the thing was very good, and seemed to be well thought-out. I already wonder about the third mysterious passenger, and where your ideas will take the piece. Your writing was great, aside from a few minor errors, such as the missing question mark in this sentence on the second page: “How am I to plan an assassination if I cannot know who it is I target.” I hope to read more of your writi...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
