Whoa! This is an amazing piece! You've used a mere four words to achieve 575! Incredible! You get a 10!

This feels like we have stepped in the middle of a narrative story. I don't know why you had color in the first place or what answers the amber eyes are looking for. It's a nice little snippet though... I just feel like that's all it is... a snippet of something bigger.

I think that is part of a Shel Silverstein poem. Early bird... late worm.

Very cute and fun. Technically, your limerick is 8-7-6-6-8 in syllable count and limericks are usually 9-9-6-6-9... but you seem to keep a decent meter nonetheless. Your punchline isn't very punchy, but it is cute... so good job!

I feel that this piece definitely belongs under humor/satire, although I can see why you placed it under journalism. The predicament of the monkey is humorous to us... probably not so to the poor monkey. As you say, it is displaced, separated from family and the comforts of its normal life by the encroaching and strange humans. I think that you have done an excellent job writing this piece. I certainly chuckled at the condom and Barry White references. I also like how the level of absurdity o...

the only part I don't like is the "spoken so wryly". I'm just wondering of the word "so" is completely necessary. It kind of screws up the meter and it reads better without it. Clever otherwise.

While I find your piece, as usual, quite hilarious... I am troubled by your views on people who flirt. While I myself, have thrust that whole act of meeting new members of the opposite sex and hoping for something more, that doesn't embitter me towards the female gender in general... well... let me be more specific... I have resisted my jaded urges in that direction and tried to remain neutral. I do like the part about bozo costumes and football uniforms. I am not sure what "superiority" you ...

First of all, you have entirely too many goals with this piece. You should narrow this down to only a few of these goals, as many of them are only slight variations on each other. You also have a few spelling problems that need to be addressed before agents or publishers will look at your piece. Second, I am not sure that this is a true "criticism" piece as it lacks any information that you have cited to back it up. We have "the great migration", and city names like Detroit and Chicago, but y...

hmmm... my only criticism would be that I think "and in the middle with a part." feels long compared to the other lines. Otherwise, your rhyming and cadence seems good. Can a knife "stagger"?

Confused only has one "s". "all screwed up" is an expression that might feel better in quotes. I'm not sure what you meant by "compotion". Compassion maybe(?) I like where this poem is going, but there are some grammatical issues that need to be worked out.