This could be an interesting beginning to something. A prologue -as understand - is really a hook into the story and really illustrates or gives and idea of where things are headed. I think if you had stopped at the first paragraph, it would have made a better prologue, due to the fact that there wasn't really a tie in between the 2 paragraphs. You might want to use the second paragraph as the actual beginning of the story. You might want to eliminate a few usages of the word "life" in the fi...

You are right, it is a very interesting thought. There were a couple of minor changes I would suggest to improve the flow of the overall piece. you might want to change "distance" to "distant" and "scorched in torn" to "scorched and torn" . "But you have forgotten about its thorns" is a little jarring after the poetry proceeding the line. You might want to try, "baring forgotten thorns" or something like that to keep the piece flowing poetically. Overall it was an interestingread. Good work.

I especially enjoyed reading this piece. After reading your notes for the reviewer, I'm left figuring out exactly what sort of feedback you are looking for. The language was strong and the idea consistent throughout. The only thing I thought you might want to look to is the rhyme scheme - I found it to be inconsistent and that same inconsistence distracted me (for a moment) from enjoying what I was reading. Removing lines such as "not even a place for me to sit" and "waiting for someone to sp...

I really enjoyed this piece. I think I mentioned rhyme scheme in another review I did for you - so I won't mention it again here. You might want to watch for word redundancy - "skin" was used twice in first 3 lines and it really stuck out. You could try substituting for "flesh". I found the last line to be a perfect cap for the entire poem - powerful and poignant. Your work definitely indicates you are a writer of some talent.

Overall, a very good read. You want to watch the consisterncy of your rhyme scheme - ocassional rhymes work for lyrics but are harder to make work in free form poetry. Try changing "Then you would know the danger" to "Then you would know the risk" and "If you must." to "If you dare." and see how that works for you. Lerave the rhyme at the end of the poem alone - used there, from a reader's perspective, it adds impact to familiar words. I can completely sympathize with this piece. Good work.

I loved this! I started reading it and it never occurred to me that it was anything but what it initially seemed to be - even with the power cutting clue in the beginning. Only a couple of changes - otherwise, I'd leave this piece as it is. "its tracks driving" is almost too much detail and read awkwardly for me. Maybe instead eliminate that portion, and just say that it was coming directly at the character. Maybe change, "as the nozzle of the gun blazes with equal ferocity." to "the nozzle o...

Very interesting... and I'm sure everyone who is an "artist" can identify with this piece. Since you asked for general impressions, I'll tell you that this piece made me sad and regret that life is this way... It rang very true. This line, "for what do I need it?" makes perfect sense and I enjoyed the phrasing, however, you might want to change it to "why do I need it?" to make it flow more easily from the tongue. Thank you.

It's always interesting to hear a fresh version of the death of love - and that's what you've communicated here. My only real recommendation is the following: "There used to be love, laugh and cuddle," might be changed to "There used to be love, laughter and caresses,". The word "cuddle" doesn't flow right and the use of the word "laugh" is incorrect. I also feel that the word "caresses" adds to the overall rhyme scheme in that stanza. Overall, a very good piece. Good work.

I'd be interested in seeing where you go with this. It's really open right now, so it's hard to predict or even give you an idea for plot twists, etc. A few things you could change are: "The leftover drunken haze from the night before still lingered, and he turned his head to the darker corner of his stark white room." reads awkwardly and redundantly - lingered and leftover basically say the same thing. You might try rewriting it as "He tuned his face towards the darker corner of the room, hi...

Ha! I loved this piece! Don't change a thing... well, ok, the only suggestion I have is maybe changing, "eating away hair." to "biting hair" or removing the word "away" to improve the way the sentence flows. I thought the dialogue was brilliant, and although there were plenty of errors in it, I think it made the conversation more realistic. Good work!