SanityDreamer's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Baton Rouge, LA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 16
LOC: Baton Rouge, LA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 16
I’m eccentric, crazy, unique, playful, artistic, energetic, wise, naive. I’m a writer, artist, philosopher, critic, and more. I’m also now doing stand up comedy shows. The list goes on. I love playing devil’s advocate and thinking up unique stories and characters. I believe that it’s worse to regret that which you did than that which you haven’t. But in the end, I regret nothing. When it comes down to it, I’m just me, and for me, that is enough.
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
“One thing is for sure, she wasn’t a neat freak,” Dougy said with a grimace as he took in the sight of my apartment. Okay, so I hadn’t picked up in a while. I work, or had worked, two different jobs and even so couldn’t afford a cleaning lady. Mom always did tell me that I should be more conscientious of my apartment, you never knew who would stop on by. Go figure…she was right yet again. Even dead, I hated that she was always right. “Not everyone’s a neat freak like you Doug,” Mark said with...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
The workings of the mind are hard to tear apart as they dart to and fro from the end to the start Its a burden of bearings that the heart does break a river of contradictions of choices one must make But where lies you mind when people pull the string and make you say untruths no one really ever mean Till you realize your shadows are nothing but distant haze a breakage of years gone by and a mystery within a maze Then the day will come when the river swallows whole and leaves but distant dust...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
There's this wall within me. A tower of dark and dim. It's like this echoing abyss that continuously grows. Then you cut through it like it's nothing but mist, like a coveted kiss goodbye. Or maybe it's more like a hello? Both are equally whole, both equally sharp and biting. You encase this screaming within this wretched tormented soul. Always two ever-consuming plights of distant dreams fading still and this relief and calm that comes. Will your truths hold me, or will they spread me to rev...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Alone A silent cave of wild abandon Unchained by fate But chained by my heart I yield all to you As you beckon With your ever sweet caresses I do so give all of me An offering as tempting as any lover is to her mistress Wild Blissful Free
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
If I pricked my soul would you see it bleed rivers of fish and life a world of deep shadows and a sea of forbidden desire Would it be red and black like the wars of times past and would you see the bodies of deaden dreams left behind Or would it be the color of dawn of mornings yet to come currents of blues, reds, and golds promises of things yet to be as wave after wave takes hold and I'm swept further away by the battle that resides in my own I know that the winds will blow and I'll taste f...
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Reviews
I generally liked the feel of the poem...the optimistic visualization throughout. With that being said, the pace, to me, seems off. The first stanza doesn't do anything for me. It seems un-needed. I think the poem itself would make more an impact if you took that out completely and start with the second stanza. In the second stanza you have the line 'I wait to be burned and scared again'. Did you actually mean 'scared' or 'scarred'? Those are two different words and I think scarred would be b...
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. You have a very poetic way of telling a story. Throughout the piece, you give a great sense of emotion without overly doing it. You definitely have a way with words. I also loved how you went through everything with him as an old man to he actually realizes his mistakes and in a sense has a second chance now. Excellent flow and fluidity. Wonderfully done.
I like the emotion within the piece, but it feels more like telling vs. showing. I think you could take this soooo much further. I've done poetry on being a stripper. You don't just have to tell the words to a reader though. Make them see the visual, the movements, the face. The entire piece is going then contradicts the stanza where you say we shouldn't care about her, she doesn't care what people think, she's used to it. I was left wondering why? Why doesn't she care? Is she so lost or so c...
Wow. This was quite impressive. And definitely different from the usual poetry I read and critique. You said in your note that you felt very deeply about this and it definitely shows throughout the piece. Very emotional. A couple of points. One, Where you wrote 'Hating bring truth to a situation were there are lost worlds, Sean leaves behind family, fans, and a baby girl, fatherless'. I loved this line but it was completely solitary. The rest is in stanzas and yet this line is one single line...
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