Sage's profile
AGE:
49
LOC: Carmichael, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 16
LOC: Carmichael, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 16
An identical twin, Lee Garrett was born in Selena, Missouri, and raised in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He attended Westark Community College, majoring in Bible and Social Sciences before transferring to Missouri Baptist College in Saint Louis. After completing a tour of duty in the Navy as a Religious Program Specialist, making two Mediterranean/Indian Ocean cruises, he pursued numerous interests, including art, music, and martial arts, until he settled in Sacramento, California to write sci-fi and fantasy under the supervision of his black and gray striped attack cat Storm.
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She strolled downhill in the heat of day, watching twisted banners of smoke rise from her home. Cinders flew in the wind as fire danced up the walls and onto the roof, consuming all that it touched. Watching the blaze, Tilly wore a tiara of ivy, clutching a fistful of wildflowers like those bulging the pockets of her dress. Her eyes were wide with wonder, imagining smudgy dragons, and flame-shaped goblins dancing in the smoke. She walked up to the house as it collapsed in on itself, too dama...
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3 Reviews
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The pretentious swarmed within the Gay Dolphin Gallery. Once, a Victorian-style residence, the structure now served the city of Davis as an elite art gallery. Well-dressed couples ebbed and flowed around painted plaster torsos, sculpted iron monstrosities, and paint splashed canvases. They sipped white wine and nibbled hors d'oeuvre off salmon-colored napkins while murmuring comments they thought to be meaningful and intelligent. Sheathed in a black leather duster, Cain drifted through the c...
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21 Reviews
4 Comments
*CHAPTER ONE* *She makes a throne of sod beside our campfire. We give the maiden-queen our rags and tears, A battered, rascal guard have rallied round her, To keep her safe until the better years --Honor Among Scamps Vachel Lindsay* Wearing her freshly crafted "MUTANT AND PROUD OF IT" tee shirt, Sylvie stared through the camp's electric fence, across the mesa to the river-cut canyons beyond. She brushed ash-blonde hair away from eyes that refused to cry, as wind sang through the wire, a lone...
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Version 1
15 Reviews
3 Comments
The sheet-wrapped bundle slapped the earth, and a white, amputated arm flopped free. It rolled a little, then lay still. Ben straightened his back with a sigh of relief, drawing thin, icy air deep into his lungs. He wiped his brow with the back of a hand, leaving a bloody smear behind, the mark of Cain. He nodded toward the arm. "You wanna get that for me, please?" "Sure." There was a rustle of silk, the scent of jasmine on the breeze. Lang drifted in from the shadows and retrieved the limb,...
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12 Reviews
1 Comment
I stood on an orange crate, sustaining a heroic stance in the face of boredom. Doing nothing was never so hard. Sun streamed through the shed’s open windows. I had a clear view of shovels, rakes, and bagged potting soil. Next to an old rimless tire, a lawn mower occupied another corner. Pencil poised, Kristy sat at the table, peering intently over her sketchpad. "Gene, stand still!" she demanded. "Aren’t you done yet? I’ve been holding this pose for hours." "Try two minutes." "Well, it seems...
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This piece has high potential but a lot of the story is still missing. It feels like the work of a novice writer, describing scenes in his head like on a TV or movie screen. More intimacy is needed. You need to describe as if it were a play and you’re an actor center stage, looking around at the scene from inside it. Without the ending, without a “point”, no real judgment can be made about the plot arc. And there is no sign of a character arc at all. All we really have is an introductory inc...
Language is catchy, but too cerebral. The poem makes me think when I'd rather feel, percieving through my senses. Instead of talking about the sun from a POV (point of view) of an unseen narrator, try become the voice of the sun itself--a sun talking about itself. These lines for instance: "Even the sun has its tempers - Clinging behind heavy clouds" would come off: "I burn with my tempers - clutching the backside of heavy clouds". The second stanza is confusing because we don't know if it is...
Just reading this part of the whole work, it’s hard to judge the overall plot and character arcs, but the sudden religious references in this one part seemed to come out of left field. The reader needs to be prepared from the beginning of the story if that is the type of story you’re telling—inspirational/religious. Overall, an enjoyable piece, but needs a few fixes--The story needs to be less cerebral. It’s too much TELLING, and the general rule is SHOW, don’t TELL. This is the major factor...
Overall, an enjoyable piece, but needs a few fixes--The story needs description to set the set the various scenes, and keep this from degenerating into a “talking heads” thing like news commentators on TV. Second, the beginning is heavy with narrative intrusion. An unseen narrator is talking about your main character and his wife, calling them by name. Josh wouldn’t address himself this way. And wouldn’t Josh know the old woman at the door if she’s able to recognize him on sight? Josh eventua...
grammer isn't really a problem. What has more of an impact is the abstraction of the piece. This holds it back a little. The opening lines are good but need elaborating: who is talking and specificqlly about what beauty is what is missing. You talk about perfect form and prefect places without saying what that form happens to be and what place it's in. This is the fuzzyness Im talking about. Consider this line: "Articulations and gestures dance filled with physical graces." What specific gest...
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