Rikivan's profile
AGE:
34
LOC: Brooklyn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
LOC: Brooklyn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18
Still writing.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
If I reach for the stars, I may get to street level.
Version 1
4 Reviews
7 Comments
"It's all gone!" Sheila screamed as she slammed the front door. The door rattled in its frames and the clock besides the door fell off the wall and shattered into tiny glass shards. "Shit" she said and crumpled onto her knees beside the door. The phone began to ring shrill and invading. "Why the hell should I get that," she thought "I bet it is only another collection agency. Sheila felt like a shell, her real self left behind at some point in her life. "Mama" Sheila looked up, her ten month ...
Version 1
13 Reviews
19 Comments
Are you short-sighted? I am and as a result I have thinning of my retina. Currently there is a large round black orb hanging above my left eye and it is getting harder and harder to type. The large black round orb is a result of a retinal detachment on the lower part of the eye. Surgery is scheduled for monday morning. The Vitreoretinal Doctor scheduled surgery for Monday morning - 8am. He is going to buckle the eye. I apologise for the obvious lack of information I impart but that is all I k...
Version 1
14 Reviews
9 Comments
Wiggle the worm was born in a black tin bucket. It was not in any way his fault. When wiggle worm was just a tiny worm egg, a large man in green plastic boots took a big blue spade and filled the bucket halfway. The man did not know it but in one of the scoopfuls of sand was wiggle’s worm egg. Wiggle was the only egg that ended up in the bucket and so wiggle the worm grew up quite alone. Wiggle had plenty of food and water as the bucket stood a little tilted under the eves of a large pink hou...
Version 1
2 Reviews
4 Comments
The CB crackled, - the traffic is crawling and the highway is closed up ahead. "Oh F***" The force of the word careened through the CB shook the dashboard. "Man! Take it easy" said another voice. "Take the next Exit for one mile and you will be back on the freeway" "One more mile and two gallons of gas. Man! I only have enough to get me to PA" Dan turned the CB volume higher, this guy sounded interesting. "Today is Friday, Payday" the CB crackled again "Yeah Payday" a new voice fading off int...
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Reviews
Nicely articulated, but I am having trouble connecting to your protagonist. It may be that the voice of the prose does not reflect the character. I feel that she must be more human. I think you could use some internal dialogue as Caitlen leaves her home. Your work is a pleasure to read.
Excellent. I cannot remmember the previous version but this one flowed so brilliantly. I must read it to my 5 year old tonight. She will love it. As always, your poems are a joy to read with such surprising endings. Well done on this one.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I love the concept. You have made an excellent ,yet simple, portrayel of those late nights staring at the computer screen.
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