Rikivan's profile
AGE:
35
LOC: Brooklyn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 23
LOC: Brooklyn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 23
After three writing courses and a grammer course, I have come to the realisation that Urbis has provided me with the most inspiration. So I am back for now.
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Version 1
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She walked through the snow her gentle footprints fading behind her. The landscape was white without color. She dug her frozen red hands deep into her pockets. She was coming from nowhere and she had nowhere to go. The road stretched in front of her with no end in sight. “Anne”, she said out loud. She did this every couple of hours just to know she still existed in this white world. “I am Anne,” her stomach grumbled in response. She bent down and picked up a handful o...
Version 1
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If I reach for the stars, I may get to street level.
Version 1
5 Reviews
7 Comments
"It's all gone!" Sheila screamed as she slammed the front door. The door rattled in its frames and the clock besides the door fell off the wall and shattered into tiny glass shards. "Shit" she said and crumpled onto her knees beside the door. The phone began to ring shrill and invading. "Why the hell should I get that," she thought "I bet it is only another collection agency. Sheila felt like a shell, her real self left behind at some point in her life. "Mama" Sheila looked up, her ten month ...
Version 1
13 Reviews
19 Comments
Are you short-sighted? I am and as a result I have thinning of my retina. Currently there is a large round black orb hanging above my left eye and it is getting harder and harder to type. The large black round orb is a result of a retinal detachment on the lower part of the eye. Surgery is scheduled for monday morning. The Vitreoretinal Doctor scheduled surgery for Monday morning - 8am. He is going to buckle the eye. I apologise for the obvious lack of information I impart but that is all I k...
Version 1
16 Reviews
9 Comments
Wiggle the worm was born in a black tin bucket. It was not in any way his fault. When wiggle worm was just a tiny worm egg, a large man in green plastic boots took a big blue spade and filled the bucket halfway. The man did not know it but in one of the scoopfuls of sand was wiggle’s worm egg. Wiggle was the only egg that ended up in the bucket and so wiggle the worm grew up quite alone. Wiggle had plenty of food and water as the bucket stood a little tilted under the eves of a large pink hou...
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Reviews
Nicely articulated, but I am having trouble connecting to your protagonist. It may be that the voice of the prose does not reflect the character. I feel that she must be more human. I think you could use some internal dialogue as Caitlen leaves her home. Your work is a pleasure to read.
Excellent. I cannot remmember the previous version but this one flowed so brilliantly. I must read it to my 5 year old tonight. She will love it. As always, your poems are a joy to read with such surprising endings. Well done on this one.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I love the concept. You have made an excellent ,yet simple, portrayel of those late nights staring at the computer screen.
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