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PinkCrush117's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Dubuque, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 07
LOC: Dubuque, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 07
Hmm… Well, for being a writer, I can never quite come up with what to say about myself. I’m 14 years of age (which is probably half the age of a large majority of you) yet have learned more than the average teenager. I use my writing as a means for my emotions to come forth, and learn to the best of my ability ways to enhance my art. Of course at my tender age I have not had the chance to come across very many opportunities, but as I grow in years I hope to make my writing at least a small portion of my career.
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Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
Why do I find that the tick of my watch matches your heart beat, the color of my favorite dress matches your eyes, and the words of my heart breaking match the words coming from your lips?
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Follow the flow of falling stars, making pools like dreams of afar. Show me the best that you can be, pressing your heavenly heart beat against the bosom of my love. Take me to somewhere high above. Look me deep in my star-struck eyes, and push me; help me realize your passion is deeper than space, your love, I could not e'er replace. So sing about our galaxies of the shooting stars caught for me.
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Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Give me a rainbow. I'll shake the wet drops off until the sunshine's been put out. Then I'll make you a mishmash of Roy G. Biv; show you a color darker than emo poetry (which is all just watered down crimson anyways). We'll slide down the monochrome, moistureless ribbon to your fantasized pot of gold. Pick up the pretty pennies and watch them disintegrate into dust of a dream. Give me a rainbow, and I'll teach you not to believe.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Your bright eyes pierce fog-heavy nights. Lead me home through tossing, washing-machine waters. A sailor's delight you are, indeed. Just stand, and the spark in your eyes will guide better than a rusting lighthouse ever could. Be my North Star when my sky is darkening. Show me home when I've been astray too long.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
3 Comments
Their passion surmounted to such a degree that half an ounce of their hope could fill the universe. 'I love you's fly like comets in speech bubbles. Arms embrace like planets orbitting the sun. Tears drop like shooting stars, coming together in constellation pools. The infinite expanse of their emotions holds more life than earth ever could.
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Amazing. Your wide vocabulary is quite apparent in this piece, and the rhyming flows very well, not forced at all. I absolutely adore "Blind to vision". Keep up the great work!
This story made me giggle - definitely sounds like something I would've heard in my childhood. A few suggestions, though: I'm not sure if all of the vocabulary is suitable for your intended age group, such as 'anxiously'. It might be acceptable, but if a kindergartener were trying to read this on their own, they might stumble over that word and become frustrated (but, it could also just be a learning experience. I suppose it depends) Overall, it was very enjoyable and I wish you luck with you...
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First off, I don't particularly like how this is in all caps. It makes it seem like you're yelling at the reader, which you very well may be, but if you sent across the message of an intense whisper or something of the sorts, it would be more effective. Also, difference and different are spelled incorrectly. But now, on to the content of the piece. It has a very important message, but isn't presented in a very poetic way. If you used more poetic devices (metaphors, similies, etc.) it would dr...
I love the beginning lines - they capture the reader and make them continue reading. Also, the way you tie the end in with the start is awesome. On the other hand 'with a ghostlike glow...' doesn't really go with the rest of it to me. Perhaps, 'without the Happiness you used to know'?
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