Pimp_This's profile
AGE:
33
LOC: Flatwoods, KY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 11
LOC: Flatwoods, KY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 11
For Those That Are Offended (Of My Criticisms: Ode To My Fellow Writer!)
Dare ye not come at me with
Malice nor arrogance,
I merely suggest impetus, insight, opportunity
Toward improvement,
I stand here unpublished, unknown, unheralded,
I am as you are
flailing with circumspect.
But this is good!
“It’s not great…”
It could be published
“But will it sell?”
I want to rival the greats!
“Flesh it out and you will.”
We sit before the cauldron of calamity
Idly listening to the siren’s call
To those that were sacrificed
Abated and jaded
To those that want it all –
Absolution or Definition,
Inspiration or Intervention
It lies before you as it lies within –
One critique does not define you
Damn you nor determi…
Items
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22 Reviews
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Predators and Pancakes “Okay Harold, this is what….” Larry interrupted as he made his way toward the light switch. He was nervous, perhaps feeling anxious over his freedom from the straps. That papoose board can really fuck with someone’s state of being. Didn’t matter now. There were more pressing issues. Namely, escape. “Not Harold Trent, Larry. Me Larry.” He scooted his feet across the cold, cement floor. The swishing noises stemming from his hospital issued slippers were almost as irritati...
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2 Reviews
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"Honey, let’s go. We are going to be late for the kids’ soccer game." "Wait, did I leave the oven on? What about an umbrella in case it rains?" "We have to make the plane else we will miss their graduation." "Fine. I just want to make sure I have everything. My nice dress, where is my nice dress? My how the kids have grown!" "Honey, we have to get there. The wedding starts in an hour." "Did I pack enough film? I can’t believe our daughter is getting married." "Mom, dad out of surgery. The do...
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10 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter Two: Paying The Devil His Due The bill collectors still called my cell phone. It was one of the few luxuries I was allowed. Talking to my family helped keep me sane as I detoxified. My family rarely called. I didn’t blame them. I positioned to have my phone in case they did. Sporadic calls came throughout the day. I leapt for the phone every time. Connection! Intimacy! Something outside of myself! It was not of that. It was another fucking bill collector. The debtors wanted their mone...
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Version 1
11 Reviews
3 Comments
Chapter One: Painting The Gray Walls Red I woke in the mental institution. The industrial gray color upon the ceiling, walls, even the bunk bed, instantly brought my senses to the where though I still wondered how. I knew this place. I knew it from my past. Subconsciously I’d assume to be frightened revisiting this portion of my storied life. I wasn’t. My mind was transient while my general sense was numb. I wasn’t meant to fight this. I wasn’t meant to change it. I was just here to have this...
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3 Reviews
0 Comments
Regaining My Integrity I thank you for your criticism. Because of which I share with you that which I haven’t shared. Urbis carries with it a great burden, unmerited, unwanted. Be it arrogance or angst, the writers here seek perfection – of others, of themselves. The die is cast and many dreams fall to the waist as yet another writer goes unheralded, scorn. A writer is a writer because they have to write. Writers inevitably succumb to marketability, consistency of works, and relevancy, as the...
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I suck at haiku but how about this for artistic styling and a review? Heh. engaging shared insightful Yeah, probably not. Anyway, really liked this. thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
This is truly a think piece. It gives me the insular impressions of the wi-fi (why try?) generation that we are forging through our interactions. I know this wasn't your intent for the piece but a happy coincidence. Regardless, this is a great piece. I find no flaws. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing!
I have to stop getting your poetry in my queue. There are no flaws. YOur style is distinct as your craft is honed. My only critiicism (in case you haven't already) publish! Thank you for sharing. Great job. Keep writing!
First off, this piece is rough but good. There are many grammatical mistakes and awkward sentences. I’m not going to waste your credits by detailing each one. A quick read through will point out the obvious. Also, in one section, you use “due to” far too much. Four times in two paragraphs I believe. It takes away from the fluidity of this piece. That being said, this is an action piece at its finest. I want to see more. First redraft this chapter. The characters are real and relatable. Again,...
As a hyperactive having been jaded by amateur writing and lack of character development, voice of a piece, and a blending of comedy to character, I find reading any story on Urbis to be burdensome at best. Typically I have to separate myself from a piece to send an email or an instant message to someone before refocusing on what I’m critiquing. With this piece, I didn’t have to (though I did). The flow of the piece, the characters full in their angst, made for an absolutely brilliant story. T...
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