PhoebeRaven's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: Germany
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 14
LOC: Germany
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 14
Ever since I could hold a pen, I have been writing. I don’t write because I like it, I write because I have to so I don’t go insane.
My writing seldom really fits into any one category and has been described as “painting with words”. What I offer are mostly snapshots of an emotion or a thought or a situation. I don’t write about a lot of outward action/plot, or traditional storytelling. So if you can leave your thinking in categories behind for a moment, then maybe you can enjoy some of the stuff I write.
If you like a bit of music while you read and nicer styling than Urbis can offer, read my writings on my blog:
http://phoebespond.blogspot.com
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The swollen gland presenting as a chunk of wood lodged in my throat refusing to be swallowed makes it impossible to chuckle at Easter snow in the flatlands. April weather in March fares on the ticket of ridiculous and global warming. Wading through air like molasses – another sensation created by viral intruders – everything happens too slowly. Who pushed slow motion? Puddles of sea-like magnitude open up before my feet. Not only did it snow, it rained as well, how does that work?...
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Version 2
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I was in love with you once. I remember it as clearly as a crystal winter’s night. The popular notion of love is that it’s fuzzy and warm and consoling. My love for you chilled my very bones. I hated that I loved you from the minute I started to. Everything I ever perceived myself to be froze up while I loved you. There was no movement left, within or without; my soul was preserved in its state and couldn’t evolve while I loved you. Gelid air filled my lungs and I wandered a...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Composing myself while composing a poem.
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Opportunities
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
The Curse of the Sophomore Album: Latest Victims Ever since there has been music released on repeatable mediums, there has been a peculiar phenomenon only few artists have been able to escape: the curse of the sophomore album. Every year there are a few breakout records of bands that show great promise. And yet about a year or two later, when they have to follow up their freshman effort with something equally as good or better, they ultimately disappoint with few exceptions (I literally can’t...
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Version 2
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Tired of waiting for warmer times. Chasing sunny days compares to chasing the grand dream. The cold wind scares me onto assorted bus lines jazzing all over town. In between the designated times is there still a fraction of me left? New constants were introduced: beer always too foamy, eternally wet hands, all my hated bands as the soundtrack, night owl having to be herself and the early bird. Half the effort wins all the hearts in the room by just walking in. What would all the effort do? I a...
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I sympathize with your message, regardless of my own personal view on religion, so please know this first and foremost. I agree, the world is screwed up and something needs to be done. As to the form and style of the lyrics: I think you are off to a good start, but there are a few things you could improve. The rhyme of "starvation - aberration" feels a bit forced, because "aberration" is such a clunky word. Overall I think the strength of this piece is that you use fairly simple words to expr...
This is so grotesque and unusual it really makes me stop and think. It may just be me and the fact that I took Latin for seven years in school, but the name Cesar just makes me think of Julius Caesar, which is kinda funny, because all we ever get to see of Caesar are these busts or even just a marble head. I don't know if that was your intention to conjure up this image of Caesar, but you did for me. And to think about how this marble head may have become what it is just takes me on a wild he...
This is delicious. You have such vivid imagery here. I especially love this: "silver thread radiates from you like ripples from a windshield impact." It conjures an image in my head, albeit a very spherical one. Obviously I could only grasp and guess at all the things you wanted to bring across with this and I am not sure a spotty interpretation is what you are looking for. Just this much: it's tragic what situations we get ourselves into sometimes and how blind we are to our own predicament ...
This expresses genuine emotion, which comes across quite clear and makes it easy to connect to the poem. I like it and I really don't mind the free verse this has most of the time, because it keeps a rhythm going nonetheless, it never stops flowing. At one point you do start to rhyme though: "I'm glad your faith has set you free I only wish you would set your bible down And for just one moment, talk to me Not as a preacher and a sinner Not as the adults we now are But as the brother and siste...
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