PenelopeMV's profile
AGE:
59
LOC: Vacaville, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 26
LOC: Vacaville, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 26
I’ve been writing since I was a child. I write poetry mainly, but occasionally I write short stories, plays, and lyrics. I enjoy painting with oils, and drawing with charcoal, pencil, and ink,& doing nightime photography.I enjoy reading good work and getting comments on my own.
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2. The house across the street looks older than any house on the block. The palm tree must have been over 50ft high when he cut it down. I don't remember if his mom moved out or died. Last year a lover moved in and things changed. He put in a new front landscape. I could see candles lit inside. Ambiance, and laughter.He left the windows upstaris open on hot summer nights, and I could see their shadows on the ceiling making love. Last Spring, the electric box caught on fire. Firetrucks ca...
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Moving Night/Exodus 1. The House across the Street The house across the street Once filled with babies and Smells of dinner on the stove Stands dark and empty. Behind dark and expressionless windows The father paced the living room Arguing with his wife The family troubled and full of fear. Not knowing what else to do But pack up and leave. The statue of angels with broken wings Left on the front walkway. The mark of the Angel of Death Above the lintel Who sneaks in and out at night Leaving...
Version 2
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Little Black Box “My family is so messed up,” thought Mary while steering her car through the traffic on the freeway towards San Francisco. She moved over to the slow lane and held her hand in front of her face shielding her eyes from the morning sun, and turned her head sideways to avoid the bright light staring in her eyes, but nothing worked, she couldn’t see. The back of her eyeballs felt like they were burning in the white light. She could not stand it any more, so she...
Version 1
2 Reviews
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Little Black Box “My family is so messed up,” thought Mary while steering her car through the traffic on the freeway towards San Francisco. She moved over to the slow lane and held her hand in front of her face shielding her eyes from the morning sun, and turned her head sideways to avoid the bright light staring in her eyes, but nothing worked, she couldn’t see. The back of her eyeballs felt like they were burning in the white light. She could not stand it any more, ...
Version 4
2 Reviews
2 Comments
THE TUBE June had gotten out of the shower and was wrapping a towel around her when the phone rang. Karen, her sister, had called her up and started whining- the way she did when she was little-that she was mad about this girl, Tania, who had this thingamajig- some tube she needed to run the pump in her swimming pool, and she wanted it back.. Karen said Tania had the thing for about a year or six months- she wasn’t sure. She said she was tired of this… and blah…blah&...
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I like the covered in dust line, but for me the question at the end left me empty. I felt like the title should have given me a clue before the end of the poem what the subject really was. Originally I thought you were wrting about a key:)
Ok you edit quickly- and it's good. I do like the part you've added where you write that eep will not be positively reinforced. and you mention how women will distain a male who eeps,(that part being particularly sensitive) and then you gush over with memories of the eeper and become one yourself. Nice twist.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I admit it- I haven't read your preceeding chapters-but I hope you'll take to my thoughts any way- I liked the introduction of the telling the slanted truth- to hide a lie. The character sketch in that part was excellent. The teacher, Mrs. Snyder, is enough of a school marm to summon up dread in any reader. I do likethe descriptions ofthe wad of spit stuck on her face, and her slowly wiping it off. It works. The last part seemed not to fit so smoothly with the first- the last few pages discuc...
Very funny. I think it would work well in a magazine. It's easy to read, humorous, and not too long- can be read easily in a few minutes. Do likethe part where you list the places where eep will never be recorded, and the part about the foootball game. Very nice. I liked it.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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