PeaNuT's profile
AGE:
24
LAST LOGIN: August 13
LAST LOGIN: August 13
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Version 1
13 Reviews
0 Comments
can you tell me why the cost of living gets higher, while the cost of a life gets lower?
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
I look to my right, then over that shoulder as I drive past. At once, explosions blast through your torso and blinding pillars of Hell and heat burst up from the ground in perfect cylinders, throwing skyward desks, boards, books- textbooks- papers and papers and bodies-- like so much violent popcorn. Because of her I hate you all. I know it's not fair but at least it's honest. I turn my focus to the road ahead and the explosions cease as my car rolls on.
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
they look to me like God took twelve years making them alone it looks to me like he found the purest honeys harvested from sweet blossoms and sweetest clovers and heated them softly to add warmth and glow. and with the utmost of omniscient care placed two beads of that honey onto the two most carefully shaped whitest, roundest pearls he ever created. and finally he found two of the darkest flecks of lava glass of the flecks so old to have seen everything he’s ever done and who know that this ...
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To be perfectly honest, I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poetry... and I loved this. You didn't push the words to fit the meter, thereby accomplishing what most rhyming poets blunder into. One question: is the voice change at the end on purpose, or inadvertant? I seriously commend you, and this is going straight to my favorites. Keep on writing. [erIc]
Forced foot and rhyme disturb the meter, and the flow of the work as a whole. As for the concept... Duh. A reality-check greeting card...
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