Passionate_Art_Goddess's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 15
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 15
Comming soon, Flames of Fate, a series that has blood, betrayal, soul, passion, and life.
Written by The Santiago Sisters (a.k.a Passionate_Art_Goddess & CraziChick)
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Recently the closest person to my heart died and this is dedicated for them. I walk into the middle of the shimmering black mirror, The waters are the calmest they've ever been, not even a ripple appears. Twilight paints the serene water, painting them a midnight blue. Through my peace I barely hear what anyone says around me. Then my heart accelerates, my breath hitches in my throat as I hear the words, "How are you holding up now that he's passed away...
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You sing a song, so sweet, the same one you wrote for me. Tears form in my eyes as you step out of the light and say that you can stay for one last night. I sob into the angel's chest Your touch is like my life vest holding my head above my sea of pain and tears. Sear. Pain sear, for I deserve it. My true love's arm's hold me close as he recites: Dawn is the Start The Start for the world But you are the Start of me keeping me forever in your heart. At last I fee...
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Truth: the truth hurts way too much as it falls from the lips of my love. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to listen. Lie to me. Please. Just lie to me.
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Lies. Pain. Suffering. I stand helpless against all the lies, pain, and suffering. Unable to shield those I hold close from its poisonous grasp. All I can do is stand in front of you and accept it for you. I do. Now I lay frozen in the waves of time forever surrounded by suffering, pain, and lies
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Have you ever felt like the center of your universe has fled? Your family, your friends….do we matter? She may have been your moon but you can’t survive without stars. Family, your friends, are your stars. Lighting your dark moonless sky with brilliance when your Moon has departed. Even when your moon is gone we will still be here. Don’t forget that you have us.
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Good job you actually did exactly what agents and pubs want to see. You explained and outlined your book very well and had good grammar. Just watch run on sentences a bit. I hope an agent picks you because that actually sounds like a really good book.
wow i was totally grasped in by the realness of the alien's emotions it was very cool also how you ended the chapter with a creepy shadowy figure. i loved it!!! oh can u indent next time you write? just a suggesstion. but anyways i loved the way you conveyed the fact that they were aliens but kept it humanish. great work.
holy crap lol!! it took them that long to figure it out lol!! okay anyways The man returned and said :- u need to take out the colon and replace it with a coma.- this was really funny. good work.
Really good start of a possible book. Nathan's character is starting to evolve by accident and it fits perfectly. the line where it said yellow snot it's yellow crud or some other word because you are talking about his eyes not nose. This is sorta humorous but also deep in a weird way so i like it. Let me know when you decide to make this into an actual book because i would love to read it.
Too much trust I give full with their tolls grow immense. - replace with -with the word when. though i may have misunderstood that sentence. Overall i reall like this poem. my fav lines were- Like a mime I stay silent for sounds will soon spark. This tune will turn echo and break as it bends.
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