I truly enjoyed the sound of this poem. I had to read it out loud the second and third time to get the most out of the flow of the lines and the "s" repetition. I found the abrupt and esoteric assembly of life's rule for normalcy as appealing as the sound. I think the mix of nature and nurture learning which may or may not constitute normalcy creates a pulsing irony. At times I was laughing (when you’re both drunk / and she wants to make out, do not ask / any questions) and other times disapp...

You got a snicker I like Haikus on Haikus replied the mad man

I see the double meaning. It seems like a clear shift in line 6. Is this intended to be an axis on which your subject matter turns, or is the whole poem intended to have a double interpretation. I think this is a poignant and well structured poem. The ideas of "absence of power," abuse of power, manipulation of information, propaganda, and the growing difficulty of discerning truth beckon to a book by Neil Postman you should read titled Amusing Ourselves to Death. Here is a forward. Foreword ...

I get a solid picture in the first three stanzas, but I am lost after that. I can sense certain ideas in an implied way, but I am not sure how it all works together. I enjoy you the fun and freedom it seems you are having with your words. I think the ambiguity is my favorite part. The teleprompter image is a strong one. But do they use cards? And is the speaker quoting Bobby Mcferrin? Is you capitalization/ punctuation intentional? For instance, the period before amid in stanza one or the clo...

Your poems are consistently sound. "Bed sheets. . . exhaled" is a perfect personification, and the "resigned side hug," is an image that I have been trying to work into a poem for awhile. It reminds me of the awkward embrace between my father and myself every time we say goodbye. And the sonnet form is admirable as well.

Sorry for taking so long to read this. It seems as you have gotten much good feed back already. I think it is perfect. Your divisions, diction and rhythm are consistently true to your voice and sound. It is long, but not unnecessarily so. I especially like the vague aspect of the narrative. It is not so nailed down that it loses the mystical quality. Thanks.

This poem has a fantastic transition for me. My favorite parts are the still born characters and the spirit image line into spite image. I find your imagery captivating. Sorry for not having more suggestions.

It is difficult to proffer much on such a short submission. You got my attention and have built suspense, again, it is difficult to see if the pay off is satisfying because I do not know what that is yet. I find your word choice at time unique (pitter-patter ironically used to describe a villain), but at times it is also cliché (like a bloodhound). Grammatically, the only "mistake" I found was a possessive error (Cullen sake should be Cullen's). I suggest reconsidering some of your syntax. It...