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AGE:
40
LOC: Springfield, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 26
LOC: Springfield, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 26
I have two degrees. One is a B.S. in mass media and a B.A. in English (Creative writing and minor in tech writing). I almost finished with my first novel, Real George. I also write short stories, mainly sci-fi and horror. My goal is to be published, especially to have Real George
published.
Items
Version 3
4 Reviews
0 Comments
“Bye-bye good times, Back to school again.” “Back To School Again” Timmie “Oh Yeah” Rogers. George started eighth grade on September 1, 1958. His homeroom teacher, Mr. Cook, asked him how he thought this year would be. “It can’t be any worse than last year, Sir.” The previous year had been a disaster grade wise. He had squeaked by with for C’s and two D’s. His parents spent most of the year in conference with teachers being told, “George is not applying himself. He needs to make good grades...
Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
“Bye-bye good times, Back to school again.” “Back To School Again” Timmie “Oh Yeah” Rogers George started eighth grade on September 1, 1958. His homeroom teacher, Mr. Cook, asked him how he thought this year would be. “It can’t be any worse, Sir.” The previous year had been a disaster grade wise. He had squeeked by with for C’s and two D’s. His parents spent most of the year in conference with teachers being told, “George is not applying himself. He needs to make good grades for us to beat t...
Version 3
6 Reviews
1 Comment
Chapter Five Dolly woke George up for Sunday school. She made pancakes for him and told him that she would wash out the Log Cabin syrup dispenser so he could have it for his train set. The little tin cabins looked nice along the tracks of his train. Dolly dressed in his Chips gabardine jacket with handkerchief, vest and trousers. Most kids George’s age wore Twigs clothing, but George wasn’t big enough. He was quite small. Boys his age also wore husky size pants. George couldn’t, because he on...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
The scarlet sun of Exodus cast long shadows across the alien prairie. Jeff Clinton and Ferance Corn stopped their hover-bikes outside Maciste Skal’s terrarium. Clinton dismounted the bike marked with the emblem “United Nations of Earth Marshal.” Corn took a little longer since he had a dysfunctional cybernetic leg. The land-rover of Dr. C. Alan Scott arrived a short time later to do the autopsy. “He’s been burned to a crisp,” Clinton said to Ferance. “But the terrarium is still standing. It...
Version 2
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter One "What if they all walk out? What if they boo or shout me down? What if I get sick like I was earlier in the morning?" my mother kept asking me. My mother paced nervously behind the curtain. She had looked out from behind the curtain and saw the large crowd gathered to hear her report. “You’ll do fine,” I said as she took glass of vodka and orange soda from the hospitality room, which she used to chase two Imodium caplets. She was still shaking and sweating. “This is the payoff for...
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Reviews
I like how you have developed the characters. You have made Jason the biggest jerk in the world. I also like how Stacie seems to be a fantasy figure to Nile. I hope the friendship of Nile and JT develops more. One thing you might do is explore the issues Nile has with sex. There is definatly good material there. I really enjoyed reading this, especially the begining where Nile fantasizes about Stacie. That was very descriptive and effective writing.
I would rewrite some of the first sentence, because it contains an overused cliche "apple cheeks" (I'm afraid I've committed the same crime). I like the contast between Mallery's beauty and the junk in this favorite place of hers. I'm not really sure where the story goes from here but I'm interested after reading this part. I'm wondering what Mallery will have to do with the power of the narrator or will it have an effect on her. Good luck, I hope to read more.
I want to say first off that my favorite line in this story has to be: "Duncan had always thought of himself and quite the ladies wolf." I also like that Duncan has a "wolfish grin." I like how you use words associated with wolves as part of their common language (pup, "Cry Wolf etc). The only things I had a problem with was the discription of the headquarters got a little boring. I also had problem with the section dealing with the Valkrie. It lost me for a moment or two. You have a great co...
I would drop "redwood" from this part "while trapped in this redwood forest of steel." "Redwood" conflicts with "steel." "Forest" is fine. Maybe "tall forest" or "dark forest" would be better. I like this poem overall.
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