I like this short story, from the Ingredients at the beginning, to the map of underground London at the end. The tone is set throughout the story, and it's also very descriptive. I like it alot.

I think this is very good and descriptive poem, I can see what your trying to get across very clearly.

I like the poem, but the way it is formatted has thrown me off a little bit. Organization is a must, there are no stanzas or even a clear complete thought if you just took a glance at it. It's got some very good ideas in it, it just, but it crying out to be organized so it can be more effective.

The first thought that popped into my head was a happy life filled with delight, but as the story progressed, I began to feel the shift of reality. It is a very good story from how it starts off good, to going into a sorta like depression-like state, to victory and finging ones self again. This is very mature for your age, keep up the good work.

In all, I believe that this Flash Fiction was excellent. I thought that the process and plot throughout the piece seemed to work hand in hand. I'm also wondering that this little twist is that she used to be with him before but, he moved on and they got a divorce so she longing for him to come back? That's what I'm getting from it, but I think I could be wrong. Great piece and I do believe that you should get it published, I know I would read it.

Overall, I loved this journal. It's very intimate in the many ways that you choose your words. I love the way that you focus just soley on the subject at hand. The tone of this piece is very warm-hearted and loving, you must really love this woman to have such deep feelings. Really good. Keep up the good work.

Wow, I love the entire story as a whoel with the twist of him dying at the end. I believe that every good writer knows how to keep things interesting and keeps the reader guessing what's comming up next, I admire that. There are a few translations that need to still be fixed "I still amuses me" I'm pretty sure is just a typo, I woudl change it to "It still amuses me". Overall even with the grammatical errors this piece is very dark and has suspense. I love it. Keep up the good work.