Optimistic_Man's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Cullowhee, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 02
LOC: Cullowhee, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 02
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It was once said that queens were better rulers than kings; because they were smarter, sentimental, and also had more inner strength. See, the black queen that I support, can survive on her own. She brings me so much warmth and joy that I could never be let down by her. For her, I would do anything because she’s my everything. Now a days, nobody seems to understand what these two words, Black Queen, means anymore, because our black queens are not treated with the same respect as they were be...
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My flow is different, My flow is smooth, It’s meant to sooth the soul, But solely meant for you. My flow ascends like an eagle, Soaring to the far heavens, With the picture of freedom, Not of an endangered species, As my flow grows with envy This flow is none like any other, Developed when I could love no other, Yet, my flow shoots me down, Now I am out of luck, So what does this naturally means? That the protection once received, Has been deceived, Yet once I believed, But could never achiev...
Version 1
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How do you deal with a harsh reality? Do you answer it back with cruel brutality, As you are faced with technicalities, From certain rationalities. Do you swim across the seven seas, Dreaming of what your life could be, Do you work by yourself, Wondering about no one else, But write down poems that are heart felt, As the church rings its bells. Or is it about the time you fell, Tried to pick yourself up but failed? Yet, pressed on after defeat, As you worked, Day and night, Trying not to lose...
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The weatherman called for clear skies, But why do I feel blue? Today turned out to be a beautiful day, Yet it seems like I’m losing you. I look up to the sky To see the heavens To bask in its beauty Hoping that I will be there someday. As I go along my independent way Clouds are translucent, Clear as day, As for the gray sky that seemed to stay Are now blue skies for me. As another storm blows through, Again, I feel like I’m losing you, Now the doubt never lays on my mind, For I’ve gain you h...
Version 1
6 Reviews
1 Comment
I miss being me, Days go by while I imitate another human being, Even I could be me Some wouldn’t understand nor see, That I’m a human being just like everyone else, With the world bearing down on me The sense of negativity The government all in my facility Damn, what happened to peace and prosperity? I miss being me Just because I’m a black man, I am seen in many eyes as A hip-hop artist (just because of my jewelry) Or an uneducated negro who only knows the streets Learning day by day to sli...
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Reviews
Wow, I love the entire story as a whoel with the twist of him dying at the end. I believe that every good writer knows how to keep things interesting and keeps the reader guessing what's comming up next, I admire that. There are a few translations that need to still be fixed "I still amuses me" I'm pretty sure is just a typo, I woudl change it to "It still amuses me". Overall even with the grammatical errors this piece is very dark and has suspense. I love it. Keep up the good work.
Overall, I loved this journal. It's very intimate in the many ways that you choose your words. I love the way that you focus just soley on the subject at hand. The tone of this piece is very warm-hearted and loving, you must really love this woman to have such deep feelings. Really good. Keep up the good work.
In all, I believe that this Flash Fiction was excellent. I thought that the process and plot throughout the piece seemed to work hand in hand. I'm also wondering that this little twist is that she used to be with him before but, he moved on and they got a divorce so she longing for him to come back? That's what I'm getting from it, but I think I could be wrong. Great piece and I do believe that you should get it published, I know I would read it.
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The first thought that popped into my head was a happy life filled with delight, but as the story progressed, I began to feel the shift of reality. It is a very good story from how it starts off good, to going into a sorta like depression-like state, to victory and finging ones self again. This is very mature for your age, keep up the good work.
I like the poem, but the way it is formatted has thrown me off a little bit. Organization is a must, there are no stanzas or even a clear complete thought if you just took a glance at it. It's got some very good ideas in it, it just, but it crying out to be organized so it can be more effective.
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