October_Rain's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Cordova, TN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 21
LOC: Cordova, TN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 21
My name is John and I like waterfalls.
I prefer to write small, simple poems that explore larger, more intelligent themes. Similar to the poetry of William Carlos Williams, yet maybe more involved.
My stories are usually marked by high detail on seemingly unimportant things. However, my stories are simply groupings of perspectives and observations that create a final, complex, or conflicted revelation.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
I love the sound of glass soda bottles clinking together in a brown paper bag. I love the touch of cold water against the back of my hot red skin. I love the sight of my reflection in the light blue eye of a beautiful woman. I love the taste of fresh strawberries picked with my hands in my garden. I love the smell of warm stew cooking after playing in the cold wet snow. I love the joys of living in a flawed but perfect w...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
I put myself in another's place yesterday. I saw many things that I did not wish to see. I do not think that I will do that again. It was too unpleasant.
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Writing this, I realize that It will be revised, ripped, rewritten, stressed over, cursed at, incinerated, mocked, thrown away, laughed at, stabbed, talked to, and serve as a continual source of frusturation-- All in just one day. And yet perfect anyway.
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Mommy! There’s a monster! Come quick! I know it’s here! I can feel it’s evil presence. I can feel it drawing near. And though I may not see it crawling, oozing on the floor. I insist that it must be there for I’ve heard it’s vile roar. I can smell it’s putrid odor, for it lingers in the air. Mommy! There’s a monster! Mommy? Are you there?
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Carl! Don’t do that! Don’t touch that! Don’t play with that! Don’t say that! Carl! Get a job! Get a car! Get a girl! Get a life! Carl! Stop swearing! Stop smoking! Stop drinking! Stop whining! Carl! Don’t jump!
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Reviews
I think you have a unique interesting style here. Less focus on your style and more on the story though. Keep up the good work.
Your plot and theme are done well and clear but your writing leaves something to be desired. Honestly I just felt like it was taking a little too long. Don't make it too short but take out some unnecessary descriptions. And I wont say it was boring but spice it up a bit. Be succinct but witty. otherwise good job.
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