Noctus's profile

The point of the piece is still foggy in my mind. I am unsure what you are trying to say / show by having two different classes of people end up in the same place. I like how the opposing stories both the high society couple and poor girl end with them going to the same place. For the high society people it was a “fall”, and for the poor thief it was a “rise”, in that it was an improvement from the live she would have had staying in London (whether she would have stayed in prison or on the st...

I’m sure everyone before me mentioned the duplication about a page in. I was lucky that Sunday was the next day, I should have just got on without going to sleep until I got home. -> I thought the next day was a school day? He and his mother said this earlier. You have to a little more work in making sure you keep you tense in order . there’s a few slips here and there to present tense. I found some of your writing was kind of repetitive, in that some of it could be shrunk. Not always dire...

First, your grammar and spelling is atrocious. You're not going to get any points with anyone, anywhere for it. You might say that you're looking for a particular sound / image with it, but you're not even consistent. This shows laziness and a lack of commitment to your work. Specific examples… you wrote “your” a couple times when you should have wrote “you’re”, and then other times you just wrote “ur” you cut of the ‘g’s off some words and not others (if you’re going to do that you really sh...

I'll open with my nit picking and then conclude with my overall thoughts. “major labels, radio stations and large concert venues, that is” - you need another comma after “radio stations” because this is a list. “was a third singer-songwriter close enough to the audience’s median age that dating one wouldn’t be considered creepy” - you need to reword this. “singer-songwriter, who was close enough to the…”, this just sounds awkward. I thought about using a comma or dash, but it just wouldn’t wo...

agree funny that you mis-spelt stupid. Intentional or not? /grin