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NoMan's profile
AGE:
39
LOC: Bronx, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 15
LOC: Bronx, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 15
Hello everyone. I’m 38, live in New York, and have been writing since I was in the fourth grade. Lots of Sci-fi, lots of fantasy, some non-fiction, and lots and lots of free-form stuff. However, one string has twisted and re-twisted itself through my mind without losing definition, and it has been fantasy. I’ve had little casual contact with other writers, and am seeking to rectify that. Read and respond. I’d like to think that what I write can resonate with anyone, but it hasn’t even been shared with the like-minded, the kindred spirits. I’d love to hear from all of you, and would love to share my thoughts on your work. Thanks. NoMan
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Version 5
3 Reviews
0 Comments
The wind smells of the sea. Thin, high clouds sail across the night sky. They are the vanguard of what will soon become an armada. In the marketplace below, citizens hasten their chores; passing beneath and around the Colossus, never once looking up. High above them on my stone perch, I look out over the waters. The oil of the Sight-Glyph burns where it is drawn on my face, but with it I can _see_. With the Sight I can see the coming storm. It sits on the curve of the world, lightning contin...
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Version 4
5 Reviews
1 Comment
It is dark. It is cold. The wind smells of the sea. Thin, high clouds sail across the night sky. They are the vanguard of what will soon become an armada. In the marketplace below, citizens hasten their chores; passing beneath and around the Colossus, never once looking up. High above them on my stone perch, I look out over the waters. The oil of the Sight-Glyph burns where it is drawn on my face, but with it I can see. With the Sight I can see the coming storm. It sits on the curve of the w...
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Version 1
6 Reviews
7 Comments
ACT ONE 1 Bringer of Dreams The sun has long set. The cold wind smells of the sea. Clouds—the thin, high vanguard of what will soon become an endless armada—sail across the night sky. In the marketplace below, citizens hasten their chores; passing beneath and around the Colossus, never once looking up. High above them on my stone perch, I look out over the waters. The oil of the Sight-Glyph burns where it is drawn on my face, but with it I can see. With the Sight I can see the coming storm. I...
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I'm writing things as I read, this review will reflect that: -You appear to be using an omniscient narrator's POV; being the case, you have to either put more weight into your descriptions, or put none at all and convey whatever you want us to feel through the characters.A malevolent thing is being planned on the ship; the narrator must give it its proper weight. An omniscent narrator(in my opinion) is like a judge in a court: he's only there to make sure you understand the facts; it's the la...
I was looking for a deeper message other than the obvious direction the story was going in. Even if you didn't read the title, Chucky's speech made the meeting clear. His audience should have become wary immediately--perhaps they did. If so, you should indicate it. It's going to take a singular story to place an evocative spin on eugenics--especially if the story is to be as contemporary as it seems.
I'm not really into poetry, but I liked this. The first stanza(?) confused me, but the others evoked some real, pleasing imagery. I hope this is in Poetry section, as well.
"Had" is passive it robs a sentence of its energy. Most of the time it's unnecessary; the verb that follows it is usually enough. Also, the sentence has more strength. examples: "The night sky had lay....Like it had done...since the first beings had gazed..." suggestions: "The night sky lay...as it did...since the first beings gazed..." Also, the paragraphs need to be broken up; one thought-process per paragraph. When a character is thinking or speaking(usually speaking) another paragraph sho...
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