NireB's profile
AGE:
33
LOC: Sugar Land, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 17
LOC: Sugar Land, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 17
Please visit my website at
www.elhenry.com to learn more
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
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Copyright 2009 E.L. Henry A WITNESS TO SIN PROLOGUE Dr. Abott sits in his brown leather recliner sliding his reading glasses onto his nose, which is slightly crooked from a playground fight in elementary school. Wrinkles mask his once handsome features and his left hand shakes reaching for her file. The file of the one woman his mind cannot comprehend. He looks up intrigued when the door creaks open and she strides across the hardwood floor. He offers politely, “Good morning Belinda.&...
Version 1
1 Review
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It's been hours upon years it seems as I stare into the stars. Grasping at pieces of heaven that loom over head. The questions to answers floating clearly as to tease they are untouchable, unreachable. Like ghosts haunting me as my eyes scream I can see them. So many answers to not enough questions. AG. BB. CC. DE. Questions play hide and seek forgetting to be sought. Answers skipping about taunting me to catch them in there nasty game of tag. They are not as tricky as they think. I grab one ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
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* Loving you I can feel again Touching you I can breathe Knowing that you're by my side Puts our worlds at ease * Thoughts flow through veins Memories caught in the mind Our futures known from one moment Finding we are not the last of our kind * The talk The meeting; The kiss...The first kiss The one night Then it stays like this * Sensations are irreplaceable There is nothing you do not fulfill Our hearts and souls have become one "Stay with me?" is whispered, "Yes, I will" Copyright Januar...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Feelings and emotions veil my mind. Sitting, just being, where's my time? Clocks and timers dashing by not knowing what minutes they take from me...Morning, coffee, music alarm; not yet, I've barely slept. Sounds of love in the other room, her laughter, daughter, soothes the soul. Another day shines and I have to just the same. Let's go, hurry, we must be on time. Ticking, tick tock... I'm here, settle down, read this, do that, bell's gonna ring, I sing... with thoughts of "what's next?", oh...
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Reviews
Overall I think you have a really good topic to tell your story. There's a few things to consider: "Introducing Zeller to her Auntabelle, her father’s office manager, Brittan Lee suggests he meet with the older woman and follow the money." I got confused here while reading the synopsis because I don't know where this came from. Remember with your synopsis you want to give all pieces of information and no guessing without it being too wordy. "Zeller hides his own private agenda: the disappeara...
I have two thoughts on what is happening. One, is that this woman, Janine, is so beautiful and so perfect she turns complete 100% put together men into 0% lifeless people because the men cannot handle actually coming into contact with her; or is it her voice? She has turned Godfrey into what most women turn into when they have crushes it seems but, it would be nice to see a little more information behind what Janine is to why she has this effect on men. Godfrey loses all mental and physical a...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Great effort. Where should I start? I cannot read any further. I am sorry but this is a very dry and unfeeling story. The characters speak like robots and there is not a single drop of chemistry. No one constantly repeats the name of the person they're talking to every time they start a sentence. I would suggest revising and looking at real emotions and better descriptive scenes. Good luck!
I haven't read the other chapters but I liked this one based on your characters. I would like to read more and see where it's going. The writing flowed nicely
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