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Niko89101 avatar
AGE: 56
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 16

I am 55 years old until mid July, when I turn 56. I like poetry, but asking me to review it is like asking a fish to tap dance. I only know what I like; not what is good.

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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Why I hate query letters.
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I have a problem with query letters. Every one here who has tried to publish has gone through this; the modern agent doesn't want to bother with hiring a reader to pore through fifty page snippets of out work. The want, as Hannibal Lector said, to be amazed by our acumen, Convincing them with less than a page; for that is what a query letter is; half of it about your magnum opus, the rest about you. Can you really think of a less fair system? Sure we can tell them enough about the work in 125...
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 Plus-button Clarity
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Heart of the Assassin     Now I felt the trigger break clean, the gentle cough of the silenced weapon, the round already halfway to its target. The man fell forward and I waited a moment before approaching. He wasn’t who I was after. Bodyguards cover my usual targets, and this guy had just accepted the wrong man’s money. As often as you see it in the movies, a gun cannot be completely silent unless you accept some serious drawbacks. The bullet has to be sub-sonic so it ...
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Action Adventure / Heart of the Assassin Revised
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Heart of the Assassin     Now I felt the trigger break clean, the gentle cough of the silenced weapon, the round already halfway to its target. The man fell forward and I waited a moment before approaching. He wasn’t who I was after. Bodyguards cover my usual targets, and this guy had just accepted the wrong man’s money. As often as you see it in the movies, a gun cannot be completely silent unless you accept some serious drawbacks. The bullet has to be sub-sonic so it ...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Family of Choice Part 1
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Family of Choice Aliit ori'shya taldin - Family is more than blood. Merisa sighed, kneeling upright from the weeding. The grain fields were a bronze sheet waving gently in the wind. Her old bones creaked at the labor, but she had learned not to complain when she was young. Pain meant you were still alive. The children, ba-ad most of them, worked diligently. When Ba-buir was working hard, they wanted to prove worthy. She loved them all, those of her own blood no more or less than those by ado...
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Action Adventure / Heart of the Assassin
Version 1
4 Reviews   12 Comments
Heart of the Assassin     Now I felt the trigger break clean, the gentle cough of the silenced weapon, the round already halfway to its target. The man fell forward and I waited a moment before approaching. He wasn’t who I was after. Bodyguards cover my usual targets, and this guy had just accepted the wrong man’s money. As often as you see it in the movies, a gun cannot be completely silent unless you accept some serious drawbacks. The bullet has to be sub-sonic so it ...
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Reviews
Watch homonym usage, you used bare (uncovered) instead of bear (deal with) in case, not incase. Brown Leather did not need to be capitalized unless it was a brand name. The biggest problem with the work is we still don't know what is the problem. A package can contain anything from child pornography to a dress in his size to a human hand removed from a serial killer's victim. We know he feels it's going to destroy his life, we just don't know why yet. Te foreboding feeling is well done.
Novel Treatments / Stone Soup Chapter 22
You portrayed the insanity that is war very well here. The view from both sides helped, because everyone always characterizes the other side as automatons that merely follow orders, or as people spouting propaganda as they fight on yours. To the soldier in the field, the idiots are the upper echelon on both sides, the enemy just some poor bastard in the same situation as yourself, killing or being killed. On top of that we have the attitude of going on, no matter how insane it is.
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / "A Way of Life" - An Introduction
Locked
Horror / Mad Cow Fashion
You have a minor problem with cumbersome sentences. As an example ‘the big red barns that were so much a part of the area rural to which he lived.’ would have been better as ‘the big red barns that were so much a part of the rural area where he lived.’ You also used the word site (Location) consistently rather than sight (As in the sights of a rifle). These are editing problem. I have found that if you set a work aside for a month or so, then come back and reread it, you will notice these mo...
Romance / A Room With A View
The writing style is not too bad. The scene is well set, and the interplay well done. But I don't think I would define it as a romance.
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