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NickvonBismarck's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Punta Gorda, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 15
LOC: Punta Gorda, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 15
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when we were young we sang to the birds unutterable, fruitful proverbs. we sang proverbs to the birds. and as we sang we fancied the sight of colorful plumes of a divine majesty we savoured the song symphonic, harmonic melodic, euphonic. but when night fell and we slept and we dreamt of our soaring roaring song for the birds-- manifest snakes in the dark took our birds prey. their voices nor their garb were sufficient protection from strangulation or damnation. perhaps our fancy was farce. or...
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Let me sleep soundly in the salty silence of your words. You have whispered each night into timeless subsistence. I weather the storm on the boat of your poetry to strive, to seek, to find, and to yield the morning again.
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we're homonyms for the same unutterable word. it's a deity from within you, within me. with the ubiquity of math a metaphorical path burns in our eternity.
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Hermann Hesse once wrote, “Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.” In this respect, no emotion is truly communicable, no thought truly understood. For we cannot translate true anger into words; nor can words, as the old adage goes, express how much one loves another. But from this belief springs the very idea of poetry. A visceral, pure form of communication, unhindered by the b...
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I have searched far and wide for the pearls in his hand. I have traded, haggled, bartered for a chance to snag my hard-earned reward. I see them shimmer and I see them glisten. Their false light mocks goodness and instead garners indolence. I may be a greedy merchant, and truly I have made corrupt bargains. But penance was paid, assuredly, and I have seen you, held you, pearls, in my dreams. And I awaken to see a great pearl deriding my endeavour in the onyx sky. You, Pearls, I am revulsed. Y...
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Reviews
You've got a very, very lyrical way of writing that I enjoyed a lot. It's very interesting how you can take something as commonplace as a thunderstorm and turn it into a beautiful, lyrical poem like this. "Two dance naked among the clouds/Branches etched in shadows." Was that meant to mean lightning? At least, that's how I saw it. Great image. I know you said in your reviewer notes that you punctuated it so that the thoughts wouldn't run together. I understand to a point, but you should go wi...
This is breathtaking. Probably the best poem I've read on this website. I'm not sure if your point was to blur the lines of time (or remark upon that phenomenon) but that's what struck me immediately. From the "fake antique French clock" to the flowers to the memory of earlier, coquettish days, it's a very prominent motif that you pulled off flawlessly. What I really liked was the shifting of the verb tense in each verse. I don't know whether it was intentional or not, but it was absolutely p...
Villanelles are hard to write. They're so specifically structured. I think you pulled it off really well. That said, it's very interesting to contrast the subject matter with the structure. Questioning existence is usually a very chaotic action, so most (including myself) would write a chaotic, dissonant, and often structureless and abstract poem; however, your choice to do otherwise seems to hint at the fact that there could be a simple, structured answer to it all. This is buttressed by you...
I really appreciate the religious imagery, which was well-maintained throughout the poem. The lyricality, too, was very poignant, especially in the first line. Similarly, the stark contrast between the cold stone wall and the warmth of the narrator (his/her breath, embrace, arms, kiss/hug). Maybe I'm missing something, but what do the "L" and "R" stand for? Is it a part of a name or something? Regardless, it's a wonderful poem, and it evokes very powerful emotions. Great job. ;)
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