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Nerdtough's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 14
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 14
A description of myself? Hmmm, let’s just say that I definitely don’t take myself seriously. I write, and I guess I’m pretty awesome at it. HA! If I couldn’t write, I reckon I would pursue pornography with wreckless abandon.
Stop reading people, and go snowboarding.
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"Life can only be understood backwards, but it can only be lived forwards". ~Pierre Eliot Trudeau Rebirth: Every morning I find out that my wife has passed away. I roll over routinely, exploring the bed spread with curious hands, but no one’s there. I’m startled, as though the room has suddenly closed in upon me during the night, becoming strange and indifferent. It… It feels as though nothing has moved in here for a long while. A sudden cold chill ripples through me; my body curls around its...
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“Mama says that you’re not real, Tommy,” the young boy whispered, clutching the duvet with his tiny fingers, his eyes peering cautiously around the room where they eventually locked upon the open closet doors. “She says that you’re just part of my imagination; that you only come out when the lights turn off and I can’t see anymore.” The room felt sullen to the boy, perhaps offended by his diminished faith. There was no immediate reply. The boy pulled at his blanket, fortifying himself in prot...
Version 1
2 Reviews
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Six-O’clock. I knew because the news was just starting. I felt around for the remote but, as usual, it had burrowed itself deep into the sofa’s underbelly, between the sleek leather cushions and the couch’s wooden frame. I’d hunt for it, but I didn’t care much for the crusty, sticky randomness near its whereabouts. So I sat stroking Sancho. Good listener and loyal as hell, but not much for conversation. “Where’s the clicker Sancho?” I could feel his ears perk up with eager determination, but ...
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The first two stanzas are decent in that they present what they are meant to in a metaphorical way, as poetry should. However, in the third stanza, I'd say you become a little bit too "emo", and become too overt with sensational thoughts. Also, I would avoid the capitalization of the word "were" in the second stanza. When poetry is written properly, the reader can decipher what the line is intended to emphasize.
Beautiful poetry; great use of assonance and basically every device I can think of. I'm mainly a writer of prose, so the meaning of this poem somewhat eludes me, but, wow, I'd love to hear a little more from the writer!
Wow, amazing narrative. Maybe this is my own interpretation, but I enjoyed the unreliability of the narrator. I began to distrust the narrator right away with "Her eyes looked as though they may have been watering from the fumes, or possibly a tear dripped off her nose." Whenever a narrator doesn't present the facts exactly as they transpired, they must be immediately drawn to attention. As I continued to read, I noticed that maybe this was not your intention. But why not? Modern art demands ...
I'm not particularly accustomed to this genre of literature, but it seems to me that you've succesfully created, and not too overtly, sexual tension. As the reader, you WANT them to hook up and to see what's happening. The way you depict your characters somewhat innocently in the beginning seems to perpetuate that resolve. If I were to change anything, however, I'd be less descriptive during your dialogue scenes. Trust your reader. We don't need for you to intimate what the character means by...
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