NemutaiKun's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Fayetteville, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 12
LOC: Fayetteville, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 12
I am a high school senior from NC. I’m a Christian, I love writing, studying literature, anime & manga, and music composition. My myspace page is located at http://www.myspace.com/nemutaikun. I am currently working on a novel that I have been piecing together for two or three years, and it has come so far since I first began it! I am excited to see what the future brings! I hope that through this website people will become familiar with my work.
Items
Version 1
8 Reviews
1 Comment
THE MUSEUM by NemutaiKun “So, are you coming tonight?" Todd asked. Ryan looked up from his bowl of cafeteria spaghetti, a noodle still hanging from his mouth. "Hrm?" was his confused reply. “To the new museum," Todd explained. "Remember? My mom's making me go for the grand opening." Ryan considered this for a moment. Being a high school sophomore, he did have lots of homework, chores to do, and, most importantly, at least three whole hours of video games to catch up on when he got home. "Well...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
PROLOGUE On the peak of a grassy plateau the young man sat staring at the windswept terrain that stretched for miles below him. Far into the distance was the edge of the widest desert known to man. From this elevation, the boy could see where the ground steadily began to level out into a dry rocky expanse where little foliage grew. The horizon was clearly visible from where the boy sat, and the sun was already setting, casting an amber glow across the patches of golden-brown grass and the bar...
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Reviews
An excellent poem with an excellent title. I love the idea that history is doomed to repeat itself. It's a frightening commentary to human history. "planting seeds deep / in new generations" - how horrifyingly true. You may wish to change "there" in line 17 to "their" and add a hyphen to "on going" in the last line, but otherwise this poem is a jewel. keep it up!
You have the beginnings of a very interesting story here, but in the way it is presented now, I feel like I'm not seeing the whole picture. The main character is interesting enough, but it would interest me more if they were a part of the action on the television, not simply giving us a cynical "look what the world is coming to" commentary. It's all very well-done, for sure, and the ending is quite satisfying, but if you're interested in improving it, you have a lot of great stuff to go with!...
A very well-prepared story with definite attention to detail and interesting characters. I may decide to read further, but I find nothing particularly engaging in the way that this story is presented. This seems like the sort of material an author would present in the form of "backstory" segments in a longer novel. It is still a good, solid background for a story, however, and I hope you get the whole thing published!
This is the first poem of this type that I have ever read, and I definitely think it's fantastic! The image is easy to picture because of your excellent descriptions. The pattern is catchy. Great Work!
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